


Two Immortals in the Never-Ending Aether

by Ghost_Writing



Series: The Outer Worlds One-shots and Drabbles [1]
Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Immortals, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Backstory, Canon Rewrite, Canon Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Car Sex, Cooking, Crush at First Sight, Denial of Feelings, Emotion Porn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Immortality, Immortals, It's good I promise, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Night Terrors, Nonbinary Captain (The Outer Worlds), Nonbinary Character, Oral Sex, Other, Phineas Welles is a Softie, Pining, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rescue, Rewrite, Rough Sex, Secret Crush, Semi-Public Sex, Smoker Captain (The Outer Worlds), Smoking, Smutty, Spaceship Sex, Spaceships, The Captain has PTSD (The Outer Worlds), Trans Male Character, Vaginal Sex, coming to terms with feelings, how did I write this?, i can't tag, trans phineas welles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24786439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writing/pseuds/Ghost_Writing
Summary: Captain Spark had just skipped over the Hope. They were bubbling in ways that made them nervous and just a little bit terrified as the Unreliable docked in Phineas’s lab.However, the bubbling excitement and nervous jitters were doused like water to a flame when ADA insisted they play the message from the eccentric scientistbeforethey left the ship.Alternative title;Dear Life and Longing
Relationships: Male Captain/Phineas Welles, Maximillian DeSoto/Felix Millstone, Nonbinary Captain/Phineas Welles, Parvati Holcomb/Junlei Tennyson, The Captain/Phineas Welles
Series: The Outer Worlds One-shots and Drabbles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792747
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I kinda rewrote the ending a little? It's canon divergent and has immortality cause I can't lose that eccentric man, even if it is a video game. Yes, I know that some of these actions aren't exactly how the game pans out. But you're reading fanfic, not a walkthrough.

The Captain boarded their ship, jittering in their boots after skipping the Hope to Phineas’s lab. They’d done it! The Hope was saved! Well, okay, maybe that wasn’t the reason they were jittering… but they couldn’t help why! They just couldn’t wait to see the brilliant smile on the eccentric scientist’s face when they returned. He’d be overjoyed! They knew how much this was going to mean to him, they matched him in many ways, eccentric mind included. 

“Captain, there’s an urgent message from Phineas waiting for you,” ADA announced once the small part of the crew they’d taken for assistance stepped onto the ship.

They shrugged off their favourite set of armour in preparation for sliding into their civilian clothes, responding to ADA as they did so;  
“Thank’s ADA, tell him I’ll see him in two seconds,” They reply, tossing their helmet hair into their usual curls. They wanted to rush to the phone immediately but they were also still undressing from the mission.

“Captain, I think you should watch it _now_ ,” she stressed, making the captain freeze while pulling on their jacket.

 _“Watch it”_ caught their attention. Usually when Phineas phoned, he waited for them to answer as he didn’t trust being recorded. Half out of their armour, they rushed over to the front of the ship.  
“ADA… what do you mean by that?” 

“See for yourself,” she merely offered, beginning to play the message that Phineas had left for them while they were aboard the Hope.

They watched with horror as the message played in front of them. They only barely heard the explosion at the end because they were already at the door of the ship; frantically pulling on their armour again as they shouted for Parvati and Nyoka to get their asses down to the door that instant. They missed the worried look that both women exchanged as they found the captain, too busy shoving as much ammo as they could into their gun.

ADA docked the ship and they hauled ass towards the usual spot that they’d spent so many hours with Phineas. Their heart was pounding in their ears as they let loose an endless rain of bullets onto the bastards that paced Phineas’s laboratory, kicking their bodies and stealing their bits for ammo and liquor.

Parvati and Nyoka exchanged looks with each other as they watched their Captain rush behind the unsealed glass of Phineas’s barrier. In their most recent visits, he’d actually sat outside the barrier with the Captain as they played their guitar for him. The visits kept both of them sane and usually wound up with Phineas shoeing them away to sleep, not wanting to admit he was tired and planning on resting as well. The Captain just had that quality about them. Even they knew. On a typical slow day, the Captain often sat in the ship, playing their guitar as the crew relaxed and drank. Everyone had to admit, they knew how to play a decent tune and they just had an air that put everyone at ease.

But watching their beloved Captain and friend tear apart Phineas’s lab with tears streaming down their face wasn’t exactly putting either at ease.

The Captain cursed and wiped their face with the dirty hand of their suit. It smeared blood, dirt and grease over their face, but they didn’t even notice. All they could focus on was finding out where the hell they took the man they lo- er, Phineas. 

Digging inside the belly of a cystypig wasn’t exactly what they wanted to do, but they knew Phineas, so they stuck their hand inside the pig. Voila! There was the password! It took them only a few moments to unlock his computer, read his message and turn towards the door to their left. They’d never entered his quarters before and to do it without him felt a little wrong… 

They opened the door, walking inside his quarters. Parvati and Nyoka were polite enough to wait outside at least. They looked around the space, it was small but larger than their own quarters. Just enough to sustain someone relatively comfortably. He even had a kitchen to prepare food with. However, they wondered if he actually reheated or cooked anything in it, due to its thin layer of dust and several dozen notes. 

The gun on the desk caught their eyes too, they picked it up and examined it. It was of high quality and light to hold. They quickly added it to their array of damage inflictors, wistfully dreaming of the look on his face that he’d have when they ‘put a bullet through someone’ with the gun to save him. Perhaps they’d even give it to him when they were leaving… 

If he was even still alive… tears rocked their body as they clutched the small work desk, trying desperately to keep quiet so they didn’t alert Parvati or Nyoka to their silent sobs. 

This was Phineas. The wanted man who they constantly saw posters of wherever they went, the same man who kept his own poster in his ship, the same man that the Captain had swiped a poster of so they’d have something while travelling. (It hung inside their bed so they could see him when falling asleep at night). They never expected him to be actually caught. 

They’d always been cautious that they weren’t followed when coming to visit after long missions. They watched their back and held their tongue every time he was mentioned when they travelled. _How in the bloody hell had he been caught?_

They knew one thing for sure; that they had to save him. Law only fucking knew what they were doing to him right now! They could be forcing him to spill secrets! Or beating him till he did. Hell… he could even be dead. 

Shaking their head, they grabbed the navkey out of the secret compartment, and booked it back to their ship. Or, at least they attempted to. Parvati caught them before they could leave the lab.

“Captain? Are you okay?” she asked, holding their arms at their sides and looking at them through her helmet. 

They tried to break free, failing miserably when she held steady. At least the helmet obscured their face from her. 

“I’m fine, Parvati,” they mumbled through the helmet, their voice slightly muffled.

She looked unconvinced and they silently cursed themself.

“Captain, you’re not fine. You’ve been running through here like a mad man in Hell. Talk to us,” she urges. Nyoka nodded as well, putting her hand on their shoulder.

“I’m fine, really. We need to go. We _have_ to go,” they grumble, clenching and unclenching their fists. They had to hurry, they had to save him _now_.

She let them go at least, watching as they visibly deflated. Parvati didn’t push them after that, trailing behind them as they booked it back to the ship. The Captain didn’t slow down after that, shucking off their armour to fix the dents later as they hurried over to ADA.

“ADA, we’re going to Tartarus,” they managed to say, wiping their face with a discarded rag they kept by the front of the ship. It came back grease stained mixed with dried blood. They made a face.

“Captain, I must warn you, no one has ever escaped from Tartarus alive. They’ll shoot you on sight,” she informs them as they move to punch the Nav-Key into the computer.

“I don’t fucking care. He’s worth my life if it means he’s safe,” they grumble, finally getting the damn Nav-Key to fit into the computer. Their heart was in their throat, perhaps inhibiting their motor controls. ADA was the only part of the crew that knew how they felt about him. They hadn’t outright said it, but she probably heard them late at night in their quarters. 

“Captain, I do not oppose your decision, however, before you depart, the crew wishes to have a word with you in the mess hall,” ADA tells them, refusing to initiate the movement of the ship as they smashed the button frantically. 

The Captain gave up, throwing down the dirty rag and storming up to the mess hall. Usually, it was just called the kitchen, but with the condition it was kept in, the crew had lovingly started calling it as such. They weren’t mad at them wanting to talk, they were just frustrated and nervous to have to show the crew their face behind their helmet while they were in such a state. 

When they got upstairs, they found everyone sitting around the table. Suddenly they were more aware of the sweat-stained wife-beater and ratty old jeans they were wearing. They never bothered to spend much on mission clothes, always opting for comfort under their armor. They’d rushed to ADA before changing, so the usually well-groomed Captain looked in desperate need of a shave, with tears, grease and whatever the hell else had been on their gloves, smeared across their face. 

“Captain, you sure about this?” Felix was the first to ask as they slumped into an empty chair. 

They rested their head on their hand, staring down at the table.  
“We have to save him, Felix. If we don’t, there ain’t no hope for the Hope,” they mumble, trying to cover up their reason with mission details. 

“Captain, I think there’s a little more to this than that,” Parvati chimed in, her usual happy tone filled with worry and distress with seeing the Captain in this state. Great, another thing that was their fault. 

“There’s nothing more! Mind your own damn business!” they snarled, the words coming out far louder and with more bite than they intended.

“Hey, don’t talk to her like that!” Nyoka warned, folding her arms across her chest. “We can all tell Captain, you don’t need to take your frustrations out on Parvati just because she had the balls to tell Junlei, and you can’t muster the words for yours.”

They paled at those words, returning to staring into the table, their gaze so hot that it could melt holes through the old metal, with scarlet red across their face. How the hell did she know? They were trying to hide it. They thought they were doing a damn fine job. Hell, Phineas hadn’t realized… or maybe he was too polite to say he had… 

“Can it. I don’t have feelings for him. He’s just the old man who happened to revive me that I took pity on and made friends with,” they snap, defending themselves to the table.

No one in the room believes them for a second. They knew it, everyone knew it. They didn’t even believe themself anymore. Countless nights they’d laid in bed, trying to sort their mind out about Phineas, never being able to justify enjoying his company to themselves. He was old, not much older than they were… however, if you bothered including the years they’d spent on the Hope than they were definitely older than him. They never looked their age though, no one ever did. The Hope had somehow made them look younger, refreshing the bags under their eyes and simmering off the fat into muscle. 

They didn’t want to fall for him, what if he died before they could even tell him? But then there was that night when they asked Phineas if he feared death and he laughed at them. During their time asleep, Halcyon had managed to get their hands on the drug that made people immortal. According to him, he’d stolen some before he’d hid away for thirty-five years. According to him, he was never going to die. 

Which was good, as the Captain had also taken the same drug back on Earth before departure. Everyone on the Hope had been required to. They’d at least have company, as they knew most who had taken the drug when it was around were crotchety or lived long enough to kill themselves or get killed.

They still couldn’t justify it though. Every time they ever loved someone, they lost them within a few months, or a year or two. No one could handle their constant ramblings; the way they picked apart every detail they found; the state they kept themselves where everything had a place but you couldn’t find it unless you were them; how they forgot everything they were taught or told unless they actually cared; how they preferred to shy away from people, yet still clung to those they cared for as if they were liferafts. People found it too much. Everyone found it too much. Sometimes, they found it too much.

Nyoka sighed and shook her head. Felix placed a hand on their shoulder. Parvati squeezed their free hand. Max face-palmed. SAM beeped. Ellie kicked them under the table. Each one didn’t believe the lie that had tumbled from their lips.

“Captain, you don’t have to say it. We know. And we’ll be right behind you in Tartarus,” Max stated, a disturbing amount of confidence in his voice. 

“If you can put up with me for one last mission, you’re free to go after we’re done. I’ll make sure you’re paid if we get out of there,” they solemnly state. They knew they couldn’t hold the crew forever. They were great friends, but they wanted peace and quiet. The freedom to jump from place to place whenever they please without asking the crew. To work with Phineas and revive the Hope by themselves. To fetch the Auntie Cleo’s creamer whenever he ran out… 

“Paid, now that’s the first time anyone brought that up,” Ellie chuckled, standing up and patting the shoulder of the Captain. They flinched a little at the force.  
“Well, you heard them. Ain’t no sense in sitting around when we got a dumbass to save,” she announced, hands on her hips.

The Captain silently thanked them as they stood, patting her on the shoulder.   
“Get your best gear on. Polish your weapons. Say your goodbyes. We’re headed to Tartarus. If anyone here doesn’t wish to do this, or die trying, you’re free to stay at the lab,” the stated, trying to wipe their face off again as they walked to their quarters for a new shirt. No one said anything in negative response to their final statement.  
“Oh, and Max?” they started, turning back around.

“Yes?” Max asked with one foot in his quarters.

“Pray for the Chairman. He’s going to need it when I’m through with him,” they deadpanned, tears still in their now expressionless eyes. 

Max blinked at them. This side of the Captain usually only rears its head when chasing down Marauders or pests of the many planets. He’d never seen them speak that way about another person.

“I, um… if you say so,” he stuttered, watching as the Captain shrugged and turned around. 

“Good enough,” they mumbled, walking into their quarters. They always kept the door open, it was just easier than opening it and closing it as they went in and out. There was always someone who needed them anyways. 

They changed into the toughest armour they had, as well as fishing out a different shirt and jeans combo from their storage unit that wasn’t covered in sweat yet. Their hands brushed against Phineas’s pocket watch as they changed. They’d found it in the lab when they were searching for the passcode to his computer. They weren’t exactly sure if it was his, but it was sitting on one of his tables, so they’d assumed as much. Carefully as to not break it, they set it down inside the storage container they used for rare items they didn’t want to lose. Momentos of sorts. 

There were a few other objects in there. A heavy set of armour from Monarch; the original weapons of their crew; their crew’s original clothes; their own original clothes. 

Above their head was shelves full of bottles of liquor they were saving for a special occasion… okay maybe that was a memento, but they could definitely recall it’s origins. Each one came from a different planet, they’d only collected certain types on each of the planets. Purpleberry liqueur, their favourite, came from their time on Monarch, taking up a lot of their storage. Algae Lager came from Scylla, they hadn’t been there for long and got it out of a few containers while passing through, they had two bottles. Zero Gee Brew came from the few missions they’d done on the off-hand for a handsome sum. Rum and Somethin’ and Tripsitout came from the Groundbreaker. They’d spent a few nights with Felix and Pravati in the bars and returned back to the ship with a handful of empty bottles. Mock Apple Cider, Iceberg Aged Whiskey and Spectrum Vodka were all from Terra-2, the planet had been huge and they’d visited more than enough to collect a few dozen bottles of the stuff.

They had to restrain themself from downing all of their Spectrum Vodka just for the burn in their throat so they’d stop crying like a goddamn child. Instead, they slipped a few bottles into their pockets, saving it for during the mission if anyone needed an emergency pain killer or disinfectant. Or perhaps saving it for post-mission. Saving it for Phineas, whispered the voice in the back of their head.

They shoved down any thoughts of him. The thoughts that would make the Vicar blush and Nyoka slap them on the back. The thoughts that plagued their mind so frequently when they’d started to open up to, little by little. 

Fingers brushed against the strings of their guitar as they clunked down to the front of the ship. The crew was already waiting in the cargo bay, practicing aim with empty shells while they waited for their dear Captain. 

They coughed as they headed towards ADA, catching the crew’s attention and letting them know to get ready. 

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Captain?” ADA asked as they plunked the orders into the computer.

“Better off dead than without him. He’s got the solution to save the Hope,” they grumbled, finger hovering over the enter button. 

“Do not die, Captain. You are needed too,” ADA says as they push down on the enter button.

The ship jumps to the outside of Tartarus as they stomp back to the exit door. Their eyes catch on the large, imposing building that they’re about to storm, and they pause, still in the front of the ship.

Then a voice cuts on the comms. They’re quick to bark at them, telling them in no uncertain terms that they would be boarding Tartarus and retrieving the scientist. The person didn’t seem to like that idea, telling them about a ticket. They barely listened. Then the person mentioned the Groundbreaker landing, and the Captain blinked. Why was the Groundbreaker here…? They thought to themself while turning towards their crew.

“How does the Groundbreaker know we’re here?” they ask quietly, the words barely heard thanks to their mask. 

“I called them,” Parvati says, a hand reaching up and rubbing the back of her neck. “Er, well, I called Junlei and she insisted on helping,” she admits, looking at the Captain’s boots.

“And I called Monarch,” Nyoka added in, “We’ve got Sanjar and the Iconoclasts on our side too. They’re on the Groundbreaker as well.”

The Captain had to hold back tears, pulling in their crew for one last time. The large group hug was reciprocated by most, some protested, but all succumbed to the Captain’s possible-last affections.

The hug ended shortly after it started. Everyone straightened up and fixed their armour. Grabbing their weapons and waiting for orders from the Captain.

“Alright, grab your guns, pull up your pants, and choose your side. When we get in there, I can’t have anyone with doubts. Getting to Phineas is going to be difficult, but getting him out will be hard as well. I won’t lie, I’m a little scared we might not make it,” the Captain spoke, making one last inspiring speech that was meant to rev themselves up as well.  
“But, this is for the future. For the Hope. For Halycon. For everyone from here to Earth. We have to save him to bring back a Hope to the colony.”

“Here! Here!” was the resounding chorus. Everyone on board feared those would be the last words they ever heard the Captain speak. Even the Captain feared it. 

With words of goodbye from ADA, the crew set off. It was slow, pushing their way through the guards on the front bays and inside the building. The Groundbreaker crew gave them a hand, lightening the work and insisting they go ahead while they dealt with the rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried and shouted my way through Tartarus... I'm not even exaggerating, there were literal tears in my eyes. I didn't even realize I was so attached to Phineas until he got captured.

The Captain shivered at the cold, grimy interior of Tartarus. There were boxes, guards, and dirt everywhere they looked. Their mind decided to focus on how Phineas must’ve felt while he was brought into here as they knocked out guards and stormed their way through. 

Was he scared when they brought him? Was he conscious? Did they force him to walk on his own through the whole maze, showing him the gory details of the “containment” facility meant for the colonies worst? Phineas didn’t deserve this. He was just trying to help people. To save them. Even if a few colonists died in the process, the Captain had more blood on their hands from saving places from Marauders and making decisions. They didn’t think much about it, except for the few conscious people who’d died in their wake. Like the guards from their first arrival, when they’d egged them on to go up against Marauders that were around the Unreliable. Or the scientist’s test subjects that had died when they retrieve the Dimethyl Sulfoxide for him. Innocent lives were on their hands. The Hope was filled with brilliant minds, if a few had died to save the rest, that was okay. 

When they got to the “pit”, they hoped that Phineas hadn’t been awake as they marched him through. Two Iconoclasts had joined them now, the Van Noys, as well as several MSI grunts, which made them feel a little safer. However, despite all of their jumping-off random ledges and leaping about, they were terrified of heights. They stuck close to the edge, dreading when they ran across the center of the room. 

They tried to ignore the cells around them, containing hundreds of people in sleep. So many people…

“Did they really deserve it?” they mumbled out loud on accident, catching Felix’s attention as they took down the last guard on that level. 

“What’s that Captain?” he asks, turning to them and shaking the tension in his arms. 

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to… I was wondering how many people here actually deserved this. How many Phineas’s are here?” they explain as they ride the elevator down to the next floor.

“Don’t know. I don’t think we’ll ever know,” Felix says, reloading his gun. 

“Tartarus is a maximum-security prison. I’m sure they have a good reason to be here,” Max joins in, clutching his hammer.

“But if someone like Phineas is here, what if there are more like him?” the Captain persists, picking off a few guards as they rush off the lift.

“Who knows Cap’,” Felix supplies, bashing in someone’s head. 

“Yeah…” they mumble as they continue to engage guards.

After another level, they stumbled their way into Chairman Rockwell’s room. The placement caught them off guard, so they were ill prepared to find him there. A trashy, insulting greenscreen was set up on one wall of the room, a little ways away from the man himself. The Captain saw the Chairman speaking, the words lost on them.

“I don’t even want to hear it,” the snarled, moving their gun to optimal firing position. 

“Wait, surely there’s some sort of deal we can make. I have bits! Lots of bits!” the Chairman pleaded, putting his hands up in surrender. 

“Don’t want your bits. Don’t want your deals. You crossed a line, and I don’t take kindly to that,” they growled, firing their gun.

Two shots, that was all it took, for the Chairman to fall to the ground, blood pouring out of the middle of his head and left side of his chest. The auto mechanical in the room took more effort. The Captain felt numb. The plan had always been to put his head on a spike, to line up the boardsmen and shoot down every last one of them. 

Guess this’ll have to do. 

The crew said nothing as the Captain stole from the Chairman’s carcase. No one knew what to say to them. It was touch and go with the Captain, and sure they appreciated the words of comfort the crew offered, but this was a state that no one wanted to talk to them in. The murderous rage that hid behind their mask as they kicked the Chairman’s body for good measure.

Only Ellie caught the soft whimper from their lips. 

“Let’s go,” they grunted, walking to the door.

No one argued. Ellie walked forwards, resting her hand on the Captain’s shoulder in comfort. Physical touch from her was rare and had the captain leaning into it. 

“In my opinion, that was the right choice,” is all she had to say.

“Thanks, Ellie,” the Captain mumbled, lifting their helmet just enough to wipe their eyes. They took the words to heart as they rushed the crew forwards and through the next levels.

There was an unspoken decision to rush through the pit after that. The Captain didn’t say anything about their fear of heights, but most could tell with the way they shied from the edges and refused to look down. They were even watching their feet, unlike usual. So, it was no surprise when they sighed in relief after exiting from the pit. 

Then, Akande’s face came on a large computer. The Captain’s whole body tensed once again. Their eyes were quick to flicker to Phineas in the background, struggling against restraints, battered and bruised. She’s talking, going off about formalities and governmental shit they didn’t care about. The Captain never listened to things that they didn’t care about, and their attention was solely on Phineas.

“What have you done to him you bitch,” they growl, clutching their gun. 

“I’m sorry? Are you getting upset over the Scientist?” she questions, blinking as her diplomatic expression falters for a millisecond revealing confusion and shock. 

“What have you done to him,” they growl again, this time louder, their snarled lip obscured by their bulky helmet. 

She merely laughs at them. Fucking laughs. Cackles at their anger. The Captains fuming now.  
“Well, you’ve certainly got a fire in you for him. Too bad he’ll never know… or perhaps I should tell him when you’re good and dead.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” the snarl, balling their fists tightly. 

“I’ll make sure to send your love to him when you’re dead. Good luck with getting past the security,” she states, a teasing smile on her flips that the Captain just wants to punch off. Her mouth opens to say more but a bullet from the Captain through the screen shuts the monitor down, leaving the Captain fuming in the presence of their crew.

They turn around to the crew, looking through the mess of rag-tag misfits all tossed together. Some have broken armour, a few stole new guns off dead guards. All of them look ready to fight, but the Captain still doubted it.

“If you’re tired, go back to the ship. It’s only going to get harder from here,” they order, trying not to look them in the eyes.

“No way in hell! We’re your crew, and if that old man is important to you, then we’re with you till the end!” Nyoka stated firmly, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest and giving the Captain an all too familiar determined smile. 

The rest of the crew nods, agreeing to her statement. The Captain finally huffs, their shoulders relaxing a little, as they reload their gun.

“Good. Because I’m running from now on,” they joke, turning and starting to jog through Tartarus.

It sure felt like Tartarus to them. A never-ending hell of gunfire and blood as they blasted their way through. On the other side, they’d find him. The man who felt like their Persephone, the bringer of a new spring, of hope, bringing new solutions to an overburdened world as he started to grow flowers in the ugliest of places. They felt like Hades, walking amongst the dead and creating a reputation of mystery and death. They’d had him in their hands, and he was ripped away before they could stop them. Before they could tell them.

They refused to let tears past, focusing on the RAM security bot they were battling. Half the crew was already unconscious, leaving them to blast acid at the charging robot as the rest fought off other attack robots.

But still, they persisted. Even when everyone else was down, they still charged at the RAM head-on and sprayed acid in its “face”. When the RAM finally toppled, they were panting, their lungs gasping for air after they’d rushed and pushed them to the limits for far longer than they’d ever had. A key to getting them through doors fell out, and the Captain felt the familiar sting of salt in their eyes.

They looked like shit under the helmet. That much they knew for certain. How they had gotten into Tartarous this far; was the thing they didn’t know for certain. They felt like they were going to be shot the moment they turned a corner, dropping dead mere meters away from Phineas.

The uncertainty was plaguing them like a nightmare. They felt like they were in a nightmare. Please, law, let this be a nightmare. The thought of it being real was dizzying. Maybe this was just a crackpot nightmare their ass of a brain thought up to tease them. Maybe they were passed out in the Captain’s quarters of their ship, docked on Phineas’s laboratory with the Hope right next to them. They could only hope… 

Then they pinched themselves, and it all became real again. They were still on Tartarus, running through hallways of dirty metal with six pairs of feet behind them. 

Phineas was still in that torturous chair with Akande. 

The next door the Captain opened took them to a very white, polished hallway. Their mouth gaped at the tidy space, as they stared at the polished marble stairs with shiny metal railings leading up to a sliding door. It was infuriating. A small paradise in a disgusting prison. Just like the Board to create. It reminded them a bit of Byzantium. 

“Gosh, this place is so shiny,” they heard Parvati whisper, running her gloved hands over the metal railing. Dirt wiped off her glove onto the clean surface and they nearly chuckled at it.

“It’s got no right to be in a maximum-security prison,” the Captain grumbles, kicking one of the rails.

“You said it,” Nyoka commented, placing a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. “You want to go in there alone, or should we have your back?”

The Captain blinked a little at the question. Nyoka was usually the one enabling the Captain’s “let’s rush in with gun’s a blazing” attitude, not this. So, it startled them. They turned their head to look at her from behind the visor of the helmet. 

“I… have my back, but I’m the only one allowed to shoot Akande. Unless I’m dead,” they state, joking around a little at the end.

Nyoka chuckles with them, slapping their back as she draws back her hand. Even in the middle of the most dangerous place in the colony, she still had spirit to her.  
“That’s my captain!” 

They nod solemnly, reloading their gun, Phineas’s gun, and cocking it. Then, they climb the steps to the door. The crew stays a few steps back, giving the Captain some room to breathe and fire first. 

The doors slide open and the first thing they register is Akande yelling;  
“Why won’t you just die?!”

Time slowed down around them as they aim their gun at her head. Everything was still and silent as the bullet of Phineas’s gun pierced the air, sailing dead ahead and dissolving her body into a small pile of dust. 

Checking the room for any guards first, the Captain stepped inside the room. The far side, behind Akande’s dust and a large bullet-proof glass panel, was Phineas. He watched the Captain with wide eyes as they marched over, his gun slung over their shoulder as they crossed the room towards him.

The room was disgustingly fancy. From large windows above them that showed the marvels of space to the topiary placed around the room and the meeting table in the middle made of white marble, it made the Captain’s stomach churn in disgust and hatred. 

What was worse though, was the state that Phineas was in. Hunched over the chair he was restrained to, he was battered and bruised, with spots of blood and what the Captain hoped was water on his usual clothes. His jacket was open, showing the shirt that they’d bought for him days ago on the Groundbreaker. They remember the man at the counter giving them a funny look when they asked for a shirt in Phineas’s size, clearly too small and narrow to fit their muscled torso. They’d played it off as a gift for Max, hoping that it was believable. The plain, grey t-shirt was stained as well.

The others knew better than to follow the Captain inside as they crossed the room. They gave their Captain privacy for the few moments they could.

Carefully, the Captain picked the key from Akande’s dust, moving to the controls placed outside the door to Phineas’s containment cell. They unlocked it, watching the doors slide open and hearing the chair’s cuffs click open. 

They rushed through the doors before they were even open all the way.

“You don’t know how glad I am to see you. You did the right thing. Akande was a monster and her death was much deserved, and long overdue,” Phineas grunted, attempting to stand from the chair as the Captain dashed towards him.

He stumbled forwards, nearly falling to the floor if it hadn’t been for the Captain catching him. He leant against their chest weakly, struggling to stay standing.

“You don’t know how glad I am to see _you_ ,” they repeated, helping Phineas straighten back up.

Phineas scoffed at them. The Captain swore that they saw the slight hint of blush on his cheeks. A flutter of hope sturred inside them, they’d had enough time to think while running to this moment. 

“And you! You lunatic! You broke into the Board’s own fortress just to rescue one doddering old man? You are absolutely out of your mind, and I can’t begin to thank you enough,” he lectured, shaking his head with a soft smile breaking across his lips. 

It wasn’t exactly the Captain’s beaming smile they had behind their mask, it was small, barely a curl of the corners of his lips. But to them, it was a Phineas smile, and a Phineas smile was good enough for them. It made them want to lift their mask just enough to kiss it. But they held themself back.

“You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, Phineas,” they whispered softly, a hand still resting on the side of his shoulder. Just in case. 

He lowered his gaze to the floor, stuttering a little at the words. If the Captain was smarter, they would’ve taken that action and ran with it. However, they were never that skilled with social cues. They were, in fact, oblivious. Especially when it came to the stuttering scientist. They were too focused on the way his hair was tousled around and disheveled, the slight tears in his jacket and the dried blood on his nose. Every little detail but the obvious one was catching their patient attention. 

“Well, I never had someone…” Phineas started to say, his sentence trailing off. The Captain was patient, waiting for him to continue, but in the soft silence, Felix’s voice cut through.

“Captain! We gotta go! Reinforcements are headed to us!” Felix called from the stairwell. 

This blinked the Captain, forcing them to respond as they tilted their head away from Phineas, never once letting him go. 

“Got it, Felix! On our way!” they called back to him, to make sure they knew to start preparing to move back to the ship.

“Your crew’s here too?” Phineas questions, his face displaying shock as he blinks at the Captain.

“Yup. Now, hold this,” they instructed, handing Phineas his gun back. He takes it from them, barely given time to register the object as the Captain continued to move.

They didn’t pause for acknowledgement, they didn’t wait to see if Phineas could walk. He could barely stand from the chair earlier. So, their arm went to his back, and the other to his knees as they tilted their body.

“Sparky! What are you doing?!” Phineas protested as the Captain flipped him in their arms like he was a twig, carrying him bridal style. He felt light in his arms. Too light. They bit their lip from behind the mask, worrying if he actually ate ever. 

“Carrying you, old man,” they stated, jerking their arms so he was airborne for a split second, landing safely in their arms. They used _old man_ as a teasing name, he was old technically speaking, but he was immortal. He had stopped ageing years ago, most likely thirty-five. Instead, he started gaining the wrinkles and bags under his eyes from stress, the malnourished aspect of his figure found throughout all of Halcyon. 

“I can see that! But I can walk on my own!” he continued to protest, making the Captain snort, much to his dismay and embarrassment. 

“You couldn’t even stand a few moments,” the Captain argued, jogging out of the room and back to their crew, Phineas still in their arms.

Phineas huffed, pouting a little in their arms because he knew they were right. Instead, he started fiddling with the gun they’d given him.

They reach the crew in record time, just as they finish off the last of the reinforcements that had made their way to them. 

“Welcome to the crew, sir,” Felix joked when the Captain approached with Phineas still in their arms. 

Phineas merely grumbled out a quite response of;  
“Did you really have to bring them all to witness me like this?”

The Captain burst out laughing as they started to make their way back through Tartarus. All the built-up fear of losing the eccentric scientist finally dissipating little by little as they made their way back to the ship. Phineas safely in their arms.

They started to feel his heart beat against their armour, simmering their laughter down to a soft chuckle. They couldn’t tell if he was scared of the place, or if it was another cause.  
“Phineas, they’ve seen worse. They saw me earlier when I-” the Captain started to say, clamming up as they caught themselves.

He blinked at them, confusion in his eyes as he tried to see theirs from behind their visor. Both of them fell silent as the crew mowed down guards stupid enough to try and stop them again. They managed to find an elevator that could take them past the pit, so they had that going for them at least.

“This is my gun,” Phineas finally mumbles when they’re safely in the elevator.

The captain nods, confirming the fact.

“How do you have my gun?” he presses, turning the gun over in his bruised hands. 

“Found it on your desk below the Nav-Key cubby. Thought you might want it,” the grunt, hugging the wall as the elevator screeches to a halt and they’re forced to cross the bottom deck of the pit.

“Oh,” Phineas whispers, staring down at the gun. 

The Captain wished they could know what was powering through his head. Was he thinking about how they stole his property? Was he mad? Was he going to lecture them about going through his stuff? They hated lectures… always boring to them, never all that fun or educational. They never listened to them anyways.

However, he never mentions it. The captain continues to trek back to the ship, meeting up with the Van Noys as they round the corner of the pit. There are fewer guards after that, most of them backing off in surrender when they see them coming. The Van Noys make up the head of the group, shielding the Captain and Phineas from any guards wanting to rush them.

The guards that do surrender or let them pass are spared. They aren’t the problem and there was too much blood on everyone’s hands. They didn’t need more.

When the ship finally comes into view, the Captain visibly deflates. They would’ve stretched their arms if they weren’t busy carrying Phineas. Instead, they rolled their shoulders, accidentally bringing Phineas closer to their chest. The crew of the Groundbreaker was waiting for them as they exit, Junlei standing at the front.

The Captain watched as Junlei and Pravati cling to each other, standing awkwardly as they wait for them to finish. While they did so, Ellie began approaching Phineas, starting to check him over.

Phineas hissed. Startling the Captain as he swats her hand away, recoiling into their body. They shook their head as Ellie flinched but continued to persist.

“I’m fine!” Phineas protested, shifting in the Captain’s arms and trying to move away from Ellie. 

The Captain sighed, tightening their grip so he didn’t fall.  
“Ellie, can you check him on the ship? I’m worried too, but,” they jerked their head to the onlookers from the Groundbreaker, “He needs more than a once-over.”

The Captain wasn’t really a doctor, they’d taken a few medical courses back on Earth, but that was the extent of it. They were a scientist, not a doctor. However, they understood Phineas’s uncomfortability with Ellie. They didn’t like doctors either, for a different reason than Phineas. Probably.

“You got it, Captain,” she shrugged, backing off.

They felt Phineas relax a tiny bit in their arms, now slumped against their chest so that his breath was hot against their neck, tickling underneath their armour. When Pravati finally turned back to the group, they could feel him half-conscious, breathing steadier and softer. They couldn’t tell if he was falling asleep from exhaustion or bloodloss. So they tried to hurry up everything. 

“All set, Pravati?” they asked, startling Phineas back into full consciousness again. 

“Yup! Junlei wants a word with ya though,” she chirps, still standing next to her partner. They flinch briefly, not knowing how long this will take. 

“Ask away,” the Captain says anyways, remaining upright so that they show they’re not going to stick around for two long. 

Junlei went into some darting corners, asking about what would happen now and how they’d continue. The Captain was happy to supply her with everything she needed, letting her know they had the perfect Chairman in mind who actually listened to the public and was a sort-of-friend of theirs. She seemed content with that answer. Junlei also offered some medical supplies, free of charge, to them. The Captain was beyond grateful as Ellie took them from the guard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, it's rare for someone to portray an intelligent character like this without making him sound definitely insane. I could find comfort in his character because he acts so fucking similar to me... I'm well aware of the fact that he does die in the end, but this is my fic and I can do what I want. ;-;


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl tho, Phineas kinda looks/acts like a realistic Junkrat from Overwatch.

After a few parting words, both parties returned to their ships and departed into the depths of space. When the Captain’s heavy footfalls, as well as the other six, finally reentered the cabin, ADA was more than happy for an AI to greet them. 

“Welcome back Captain and crew. I wasn’t expecting you to return!” she said loudly over the speakers. The Captain could feel Phineas flinch from the loud noises, leaning closer to the Captain’s armour so that it could muffle the sound and using his free hand to help as well.

The Captain’s heartstrings twinged at this as they shifted him a little so they wouldn’t drop him.  
“ADA, little quieter, please. We’ve got company,” they reminded her.

“Sorry Captain, I was not aware,” ADA responded in a quieter voice. Phineas seemed to relax a little at the change of volume.

“It’s alright ADA, take us to the Hope and Laboratory, please,” they instructed as the crew began shuffling out of armour, leaving them in their underclothes.

“Of course. Would you like me to dock on either ship?” she asked, leaving out any usual quips.

“My ship, please,” Phineas mumbled softly, still holding his head.

“Very well. Arriving at Phineas Welles Laboratory shortly,” she stated, going silent as the ship moved through space. 

They dreaded having to put Phineas down, even for a moment, but they needed to change from their heavy armour. They set him down in the cabin, quickly changing into their underclothes, but leaving their helmet on. They also didn’t want the crew to see their puffy eyes and crusty nose. Let alone Phineas.

They picked him back up again before finally starting to walk up the stairs. He didn’t even protest at being carried this time. They headed to the kitchen, setting Phineas down once more in one of the chairs around the table. Ellie trailed behind them, the others did too, gathering around their Captain and the odd scientist. 

Phineas begrudgingly let Ellie check him out. However, forbidding her from removing his clothing. As she did so, he began to talk, explaining everything from Earth’s silence to the corruption of the board and how they should proceed. The discussion continued, eventually branching off to how everyone would be paid (the Captain assured them that the new Chairman was more than willing to wire them all payment), and what everyone would do now that their Captain would be assisting Phineas in his research.

Phineas stuttered at that remark when it finally slipped Felix’s lips in the form off “and you’ll be helping the old man with the Hope, right boss?”. 

“I’m sure Sparky has better things to do rather than help me out,” he quickly assures him, much to the Captain’s confusion. He was on more casual terms with them and called them by their first name, even though they’d tried to get the crew to do it as well.

“Not really. My plan was to help out if you’d tolerate me,” they said, leaning against one arm on the table. 

Phineas blinked and blushed a little at the Captain’s statement, moving his gaze to his feet. Ellie had long since finished patching him up, as much as he’d allowed. He’d rolled up the sleeves of his jumper so that she could reach the bruises there. But, she had paused the conversation previously to instruct the Captain on bandaging him since they were the only one that Phineas probably trusted to bandage him.

“I… er… well, I don’t see the harm in you helping. You’re easy to tolerate,” he finally managed to say, twiddling his thumbs together as he shuffled in his seat.

“Thank god… I was worried I’d actually have to get a job,” the Captain jokes, flashing a smile behind their helmet. They looked like shit, so they kept it on. 

The crew also burst out laughing, cut through only by ADA announcing their arrival. Phineas added a chuckle but mostly sat a little shocked at the Captain’s ease with their crew. Sure, they spent days together on long missions and exploring the far reaches of the colony together, but he was never one to grasp the concept of being at ease with people. He was so used to being on edge, that he found himself unable to relax around people all that well… apart from the Captain.

The Captain’s fingers brushed against the bottle of Spectrum Vodka, and Purpleberry liquor in their pocket and they clunked both onto the table, catching everyone’s attention.   
“I got ‘celebration fuel’ stored in my room. Now, I know the colony isn’t exactly saved yet, but god damn we made it out of Tartarus alive, I think that’s worth something,” they announced, rising from their seat. 

“Nice Captain! You gonna share it?” Nyoka joked from her spot at the table as she tried to grab at the bottle they placed down.

“I’ll share. Wouldn’t have brought it up if I wasn’t going to. Except for this one, it’s mine,” they take the bottle of purpleberry off the table, turning on their heels.  
“I’ll be back in a bit!” they throw over their shoulder.

They’d barely made it past the crew’s quarters, helmet already off and bottle uncorked, when there was whispering and then shuffling behind them. They tilted their head slightly, to see Phineas walking next to them like a lost puppy.

“Phineas,” they grunted, nervously turning away since their helmets off their face as they take another sip from the bottle before offering it to him silently.

The scientist blinked in surprise, tentatively reaching out and taking the bottle of Purpleberry liquor from their hand. A soft smile was hanging on his lips as the Captain tried to keep ahead of him so he wouldn’t see their face.

“Purpleberry… how’d you know?” he whispers after taking a sip of the liquor and passing it back to them.

“How’d I know what?” they ask, walking into their quarters and taking the liquor back for a swig.

“That it’s my favourite,” he admitted quietly. 

They choked as they attempted to swallow. It turned them into a sputtering, coughing mess, clutching their ribs as their helmet dropped from their hand. They coughed, trying to disguise the burning scarlet on their face from the old scientist. 

“Fuck! Are you okay?” he scrabbled, awkwardly patting their back and indirectly sending fireworks down their spine.

“I’m good… I’m okay,” they assured him, finally calming down and straightening up. Only to come face to face with him. They swallowed hard as his eyes scanned their face. They looked like shit. Now he knew they looked like shit. Fuck. They looked away from him.

There was a long pause as the door slid shut. If their mind wasn’t already racing, they would’ve cursed ADA out. They worried about what the hell he was going to think, so they moved. Grabbing a random cloth and dampening it in their sink. They wiped down their face, removing the blood, grease, tears, sweat, and all manner of grotesque substances, blackening the washcloth.

“You can say I look like shit. I already know,” they grunted, pulling out lighter clothes from their storage container. Their fingers brushed against a gift they’d meant to give Phineas when they finished skipping the Hope. 

“You don’t… well yeah, you look like shit. But, in a good way?” Phineas offered, sitting down on their bed. 

Their bed. He sat on their bed. The Captain thought they died at that moment. It was stupid, something a teenager would think, that having him on their bed was a small victory. But to them, it was the greatest achievement. He was in their room, safely, in the hull of his ship, spending time with them. They cursed silently, hoping he didn’t notice the poster of him hanging there.

“Nah, I just look like shit. I always do. And crying all day, wiping my face with dirty gloves, and my amour being fucking furnace, doesn’t help much,” they stated, straightening up and pulling their clothes and the gift for Phineas out from the storage box. 

He eyed the clothes in their hands, an eyebrow arched.  
“I don’t think you look like shit,” he mumbled quietly, not quite meeting their gaze.

They blinked brain stuttering and short-circuiting at the comment.   
“Well, that makes one of us,” they joke, setting a fresh stack of clothes on his lap. “Here, I was gonna give them to you after I brought the Hope around, but I didn’t get the chance.”

The clothes were a long black turtleneck, a fresh pair of black boxers, camo-sweatpants, and a navy blue t-shirt. Each item had been carefully picked out. Long hours observing the scientist had come in handy. He always had something covering his arms, never had a single pair of sweatpants to work comfortably in, and could always use a shirt for a break from his jumpsuit. They hoped he’d like them.

“I… thank you,” he whispers, going through the pile of clothes with careful consideration for each garment. “How much do I owe you for this?”

The Captain threw their hands up in surrender.   
“For the last time! You don’t need to pay me back. I just want to see you taken care of,” they explain, finally noticing the bandages from Ellie on his lap. 

Phineas’s mouth made a soft ‘O’ at the Captain’s words. He couldn’t reply with much else, so he hoped that would do.

“Fucking finally,” they grumbled under their breath as they began to strip down from their under-amour clothes.

It pooled around their legs on the floor, their back to Phineas and their change of clothes on the desk. A clean pair of blood-red boxers, grey sweatpants, and a black t-shirt.

They stood there, in their stained wife-beater and ripped jeans, scratching at their abs while they scanned over the clothes. They had a tall figure, somewhere around 5’10”, with full hips. They’d been born female, but with money and patience, they added a few masculine features to their body. Top-surgery, stubble, and of course, a penis. It just made them feel whole. They were thankful for the latest technology, and it was just as functional as a cis-guy’s. 

Yet, there was still apprehension in stripping off their clothes. They never really mentioned anything regarding gender, besides their pronouns, and Phineas never pressed them on the matter. He’d just offered his own pronouns in response. 

The Captain had thought that was odd. Not many others returned with their own pronouns, not even those who claim to be progressive, but they brushed it off. So, they turned towards Phineas, who was still apprehensively eyeballing the clothes in his lap. 

“So… there’s something I haven’t told you,” they started, standing awkwardly and trying not to meet his gaze.

“There’s something I haven’t told you either,” he admitted as well, rubbing the back of his neck and standing up, new clothes and bandages left on the bed. 

“Do you want to go first, or should I?” the Captain offered as Phineas came slightly behind their eye level. 

Phineas swallowed, the Captain could hear it through the tense silence. He was about to respond when ADA cut through.

“Captain, I’m sorry to interrupt, but the crew is waiting on the alcohol.”

“Fuck, we’ll be a while. Tell them to send Nyoka down and I’ll give her the drinks,” they grunt, stepping back from Phineas. 

ADA gave them an affirmative, and shortly there was a knock on their quarter’s door. With a ‘come in’ from the Captain, Nyoka entered their room.

“Sorry, I want to see if I can get the old man to finally sleep. Pick out what you’d like,” they said, much to Phineas’s dismay, while waving them over to their shelves.

“It’s all good. How much am I allowed to take back?” she asks, crossing the room staring at the shelves.

“Twenty-four bottles. And clean up after you’re done,” they grunted, watching as Nyoka selected the bottles that everyone in the ship enjoyed. They flinched at the amount of Purpleberry taken but didn’t say anything. 

Nyoka left the room with a quick; “thanks, drop by later if you’re not busy.”

Then they were left alone again with Phineas. Both of them stood in awkward silence as the door slid shut and Nyoka’s footsteps became distant. They could hear the jeers and cheers of the crew as bottles were brought to them. A small, knowing smile formed on their lips. They could picture how the crew would look as she walked back, and it was oddly heartwarming.

The Captain crossed the room and grabbed another Purpleberry liquor from the shelf, uncorking the top and taking the first swig.

“It’s my favourite too,” they supplied with a smirk, handing the bottle to Phineas. 

He gawked at them, slack-jawed as they wiped their mouth. He was flustered, to say the least. It looked cute on him, the way his cheeks dusted with blush and he stuttered for words to say. They wished they could make him flustered like this all the time, their dick twitching at the thought. 

Then they pulled their shirt over their head. Displaying rippling muscles, a trail of hair to their belt, and two faint scars under their pecs. There were also a few scars from battles around their body, but the top-surgery scars were the most noticeable if you bothered looking. They put themselves in a vulnerable state before him, unsure what he’d say.

He blinked at them. Not immediately shying away, so they had that going for them at least. His eyes were trained on their scars, before he chugged the Purpleberry liquor, set it down on the table next to them, and tugged off his own shirt.

It was… soft. Softer than they’d expected, his stomach displaying the little pouch that most women had thanks to one more organ in their body, and slightly fuller hips than most men. They could see why Ellie told them to patch him up if they could, a few bruises, cuts, and scrapes were on his torso. His ribs showed on the sides, clearly needing more food than he allowed himself. They stole themselves as their white eyes rested on two small scars on his chest. In roughly the same place as their own.

The Captain gulped, reaching out their hand and brushing their fingers across his scars. They felt him shiver underneath their touch. Phineas bit his lip and averted his gaze a little, hands completely flat at his sides.

“Well, we’re both idiots,” they finally joked, pulling back and snatching the bandages off their bed.

“Yeah,” Phineas finally said, breathing a little sigh of relief as they began treating his injuries. 

The cabin fell quiet once again. This time comfortably. Phineas stayed standing for a short moment until the Captain urged them down onto a chair. They patched him up, applying ointment when needed and sharing the bottle of Purpleberry as they did so. 

Phineas was the first to speak next when the Captain had finished. Somehow, his fingers had found their way to tracing _all_ of the Captain’s scars. The one’s on their back being his favourite, large misshapen X’s across their skin from claws digging across their flesh. 

“That’s… not exactly what I was going to say to you before ADA interrupted,” he whispered, voice soft and vulnerable.

“Oh? Were you going to ask me to play my guitar? Say that you were working with the board all this time?” they joked, a smile cracking their lips as a quiet voice in the back of their mind started to whispers gentle and… not so gentle fantasies in their ear. 

“No, no,” Phineas shook his head, surprisingly soft fingers moving to cup the side of the Captain’s jaw. They leaned into it, far more than they probably should’ve. But the touch was addicting and they needed more. 

“Then what?” they pressed, trying to get the answer out of him as his thumb stroked their cheek. 

“I knew you were special from the moment I read your file… I know I’ve read a lot of files, but yours just struck me differently. The times you spent with me in my lab only confirmed this. I knew you were someone I could trust, that I’d made the right decision. And then… well, you saved me. You did the impossible,” he started to explain, the Captain keeping up with every new confession, clinging to each word for dear life and longing, as they bobbed their head.

“Phineas, I-” they started to say, receiving Phineas’s thumb on their lips. They stare at him with wide eyes.

“Please, let me finish… I can’t put this any differently and if I don’t say it now I’ll never say it. I can’t keep it from you longer. If you want you can toss me out on my ass and never see me again, but… I’m in love with you,” he admits, his hand already pulling back when the Captain blinked sheepishly at him, hot blush turning both of their faces scarlet red.

The Captain let out a sigh, shifting so they were on their knees and the same height of Phineas in the chair. Their mind was buzzing, trying to tell if the scientist was lying or not. They hoped it was the later… with all their heart, by law, please let it be the later. 

“Come on Sparky, say something,” he protested, squirming a little as they continued to stare at him. 

They snapped out of it, blinking their eyes and realizing they’d just been staring at him.  
“Sorry…” they mumble apologetically, “It’s just, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Expecting what? Me to confess? Is it that bad? I should go. I’ll go,” Phineas rambled, standing up from the chair.

They were on their feet in seconds, grabbing his wrist as he turned to go.

“No, please, don’t leave,” they feebly whispered, trying to be delicate with him out of fear he’d break from everything he’d gone through that day.

He turned back towards them, waiting patiently with halted breath and high hopes. 

“I feel… no that sounds stupid. I’m also- fucking hell I can’t say that… ARGH! Fuck words,” they rambled in frustration. Instead of speaking, they opted for action. They were never good at voicing their feelings without a long-winded essay or a swift action. 

So, they leaned forwards, both hands cupping the shocked scientist’s face. They pulled him forwards as they leaned in, closing their eyes. They kissed him quickly, pulling back when they felt his hands against their chest, awaiting a response. 

The only response they got was him leaning forwards again, pulling them back in by a hand-hooked over the nape of their neck. It was messy. And awkward. Phineas wrapped his arms around the Captain’s shoulders, pulling them down slightly and allowing him to run his fingers through the mess of their hair that they’d yet to fix. Their own hands moved from his face to his hips, holding him closer to them as they kissed surrounded by safety and comfort in their little slice of Halcyon.

If they focused, they couldn’t even hear the laughter of the crew far off in the mess hall. All they wanted to focus on was the soft skin belonging to the mess of a man who eagerly had pulled them back down. 

They backed up until they were sitting on their bed, tugging Phineas onto their lap. He was small enough to sit comfortably, legs spilling over the sides as the kiss seemed to never end. He kept his hands in their hair, running through it softly. Lips parted, allowing the Captain’s tongue to tame Phineas’s as he tugged on the long strip of their brilliant red hair that wasn’t shaved. The Captain’s hands had moved from his hips to his backside, cupping tenderly at the slightly fuller figure. 

Then they regretfully pulled apart for air. Phineas panted above them, hands resting flat against their toned chest as he tried to regain air. After months of fighting monsters, the Captain was far more used to a lack of oxygen and didn’t really break a sweat.

They were about to say something when Phineas yawned loudly, coaxing a chuckle from their lips.

“Fuck! I’m not- it’s not that boring, I promise, I’m just tired and well…” he started to apologize, trailing off as their hand reached up and cupped his jaw once more.

“It’s okay. It’s really late, and we have the rest of all time to take it at whatever speed we want,” the Captain whispers, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“You sure?” he whispers back, fingers rubbing small circles into the Captain’s chest with uncertainty. 

“Of course,” they hum, picking him up and placing him down on their bed as they stood up. He squeaked at the motion, arising a soft giggle from their lips. “Put on the sweatpants,” they instruct, moving the other clothes - apart from the fresh boxers - from the bed to their desk.

They swiped their own clothes, keeping their back to him while they did so to give him privacy. They wanted to see it. I wanted to know how he looked. But they wanted it to be on his terms, not theirs. They had the rest of time to spend together, learning and growing and… loving. Two immortals in the never-ending aether.

When they finally changed out of their sweaty clothes, they turned back around. Phineas was already changed, dirty clothes discarded on the floor in a small puddle next to him. They picked them up, not giving them much thought as they dropped them with their own in the laundry hamper. They usually did laundry on the Groundbreaker, or in the sink if they had to. Maybe Phineas would let them use his laundry machine tomorrow… the basket was getting full.

When everything was cleaned up, they told ADA to turn off the lights, leaving the room in gentle darkness with the lights of Phineas’s laboratory to illuminate the cabin for them. They shuffled their way over to Phineas, slipping under the covers behind him. 

“You good?” they whisper, tugging him back by wrapping their arm around his midsection.

“Never been better,” he hums, relaxing into the curve of their body.

As they drifted off to sleep, they thanked law it wasn’t a dream. Usually, it took them hours to silence their mind enough to sleep. However, they were completely at peace here. Their mind was almost a whisper as they drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally started writing this after I did dishes (7:15) and just didn't stop until 2:40 am. I don't know how, so don't bother asking. I don't even care how many hits this gets, it was just fun to write.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one asked for it, but I wrote more. I find it too much fun. My squishy immortal Captain and the tired scientist deserve all the love in this world.

Morning came fast. Far too fast for the Captain’s tastes. Their head pounded, causing a groan to ripple from their lips before they could even register last night in their mind. They reached up and rubbed their head, a hand brushing against a warm weight curled up on their chest. It weighed down on them, in a good sort of way. Hot skin pressed against their own as soft snores echoed throughout the room. 

Confusion had startled to shake their mind as they tried to piece together who this was. Last night was a haze of Purpleberry Liquor. Everything during Tartarus was seared into their mind, no matter how hard they struggled to quiet the memory, they could still see the way Phineas looked when they found him. Still feel the terror they felt as they had raced through Tartarus for him.

The memories came crashing back into them the more they focused. A drunken haze with soft memories of sharing booze and each other’s company. They couldn’t remember the kiss well, they knew it had happened, they could still feel the way that they felt weightless during it, however, most were lost to them. They cursed the alcohol, always having a low-tolerance, which is why they rarely drank with the crew and had saved their collection for an actual celebration. 

Carefully, they rubbed open their eyes, looking around the dark cabin that was lit only by the soft glows of Phineas’s Laboratory outside. Their gaze was quick to fall to the scientist on their chest. The way that the dim lights barely reflected off of his features added a little charm to the wear-and-tear of the older man… was he older than them? They never really knew his age, simply assuming from the features on his body. However, Phineas never carried himself as old, always light on his feet, straight-backed, and full of science jokes. The Captain wasn’t much older than their late-twenties when they left Earth, so technically they’d be ninety, at least, if everything had gone to plan. So maybe they were older? It hurt their head to piece out… 

But now, at this moment, their doubts seemed to slowly melt away. They watched him sleep, carding their fingers through his wild hair. He looked almost peaceful when asleep. The wild fear in his eyes that always seemed to hide behind whatever expression he carried was gone. They wished they could drive that wild fear away every day, maybe he’d be a bit different, a little more trusting if that fear could be soothed. Fear was nice, practical even, but he held onto it like life itself. It wasn’t healthy. 

The Captain was so lost in their thoughts that they didn’t register the small whimpers at first. When a loud pleading cry rang through their cabins, they were violently ripped from their thoughts. Phineas was still asleep, now clutching at whatever he could. His body was shaking as pleads slipped from his lips.

A nightmare. This is a nightmare; it was all they could think as they racked their brain on how to handle nightmares. They didn’t know, didn’t have a solid grasp on controlling someone else’s nightmares. They knew how to handle their own nightmares, but that was with booze, nicotine, and gunfire. They doubted that it would work for Phineas. 

When others on the ship had nightmares, it was usually Max or Ellie helping them. It was usually Nyoka or Felix having them. They scared easily, for different reasons. Nyoka would have nightmares when visiting Monarch or on the ship, always waking in a cold sweat and drinking with Felix and Ellie until she passed out again. Felix usually never talked about his, simply dragging someone to the kitchen for a drink as well. The crew didn’t exactly have healthy coping mechanisms… 

Just as they were about to shake him awake, they could hear the nagging voice of Ellie in the background. When Nyoka or the Captain had nightmares, it was usually PTSD night terrors. It was dangerous to wake someone during those, which was probably why none of the crew had barged in to see if everything was okay. 

So they shifted ever so slightly, put their back against the side of their bed and pulled him closer. They smoothed out his hair, hoping they could lull the state down with soft murmurs as he continued to suffer. They didn’t know what to do exactly, but this was a start at least.

Seconds passed, then minutes, and then it began to feel like hours. He still rambled in his sleep, pleading for help. They tried to listen, to decipher what he was saying. They caught some words;   
“No…, please… I didn’t do this… how do I help you?... shut up… too loud… I can’t… I can save you… how can I save you?...”

It was hard to listen to. But they tried to piece together some of it. It didn’t always make sense to them. But to him it was terrifying. Just like their own were. The images of defenceless marauders, poor creatures acting out of self-defence, innocent guards following orders… all of them continued to play in their mind like a horrific broken record. Even when they were happy.

Moments later, he started screaming. Actual screams leaving his lips as he moved his hands to his ears. The Captain watched with fearful eyes as they searched their mind on how to help him. Nothing came up. They couldn’t find anything.

Then, Ellie barged into their quarters.   
“Captain! What the hell is going on?!” she demanded, barely in the door and getting a full view of the floundering Captain trying to desperately find some way to help Phineas. 

They gestured wildly, trying to get her to leave and be quite in the same motion. Both messages were lost in translation. 

“Sorry Captain, but there isn’t much you can do. Just, try to be gentle when he wakes up. Treat him like you’d want to be treated when you wake up,” she informs them, turning and leaving.

The Captain nods, redirecting their attention to Phineas once more. He’s still screaming, now trembling as well as his hands gripped the sides of his head violently. Their arms wrapped around his whole body, their head resting on top of his as they waited.  
It was a violent wait. Hard and stressful. The Captain felt helpless, left wondering if this was how the others felt when it happened to them. How would Phineas handle it when it was them screaming into the night? Would he be as helpless as they were right now? Would it ever get better, or would they have to live the rest of their immortal lives like this? It was dizzying as more questions tumbled around their mind.

Then Phineas’s eyes shot open. They hesitated for a moment, as the screaming still persisted and his gaze frantically flicked around. Was he awake? Or did his eyes just open? They held their breath as they watched his frantic gaze.

Then the screaming stopped. It was like a switch someone flicked. One moment it was there and the next the cabin was silent and Phineas continued shaking, still clutching his head. 

They waited, still holding him as his breathing started to even out. They could still feel him shaking, but it was getting better. The cabin was silent. Both of them were silent. Neither really knew who’d speak first as they waited, calming down from the terrifying experience for both parties.

“What do you need?” the Captain finally whispered, a hand now carding through Phineas’s hair. It’s what they’d want to hear when waking up, and having no way of knowing how to help the terrified scientist, they thought it was their best shot.

Phineas was silent for a long moment. It churned the Captain’s stomach while they waited for his response; anticipating the worst and hoping for the best.  
“A walk. I… can we go on a walk?” Phineas finally managed to say, still not facing the Captain. 

They nodded, rubbing his shoulder as they shifted in their bed to stand.   
“Of course,” they whispered back, carefully watching as he stood from their lap, following afterwards.

He didn’t meet their gaze, didn’t respond when they handed him a rather large hoodie that consumed him. It was soft, yet worn from age, covering down to his mid-thighs and a navy blue colour with an Earth school’s logo on the front. It was the Captain’s hoodie. They’d retrieved it from the Hope when they skipped it over, all their old belongings they’d thought to bring were there. But this hoodie… it was special. Seeing it on Phineas, well it was more than a little overwhelming. However, they kept their mouth shut for now. Choosing to explain it’s significance at a later date. 

They pulled on an old t-shirt and plaid button-up as well. They weren’t sure how cold it was going to be on Phineas’s ship. They also tugged on their boots, making sure Phineas did the same out of the corner of their eye. 

When both were ready, they slung their arm over his torso protectively and guided him off the ship. It was silent between them, apart from letting ADA know they were departing, as they walked down the ramp of the ship and through the bay of Phineas’s Laboratory.  
When he was sure they were alone, Phineas finally spoke;  
“It’s always like this. Nothing has ever worked to stop them.” The Captain could hear the hurt and distress in his voice, they didn’t need to look down at him to know he was in a vulnerable state right now. 

“Don’t worry, I get them too,” they admitted, hoping it would help him to know they understood. 

Phineas seemed to go quiet, registering the new information before attempting to gather more. He was a scientist, this is what he did, always eager to learn more about others than share his own piece. 

“Do they happen often?” he started to question as if preforming a medical examination on the Captain. 

“Nah, kinda infrequently. What about you?” they replied. The Captain was happy to indulge him in his curiosity, they knew it helped. When they’d go on “escape missions” - their own words - after nightmares, they’d often bring Ellie and Max along. Both were eager to share about their respective fields if asked the proper questions and it quieted their intrusive thoughts. So, they indulged him. 

“Too frequently I’m afraid. Are there any triggers you’ve noticed?” he continued on as they walked around his Laboratory and into deeper parts of the ship.

“I haven’t really looked for any yet. Usually, they come out of nowhere. What about you?” they said, rubbing their thumb up and down on his shoulder.

“When I sleep for too long… that and a few other things,” Phineas admitted, doing a motion with his hands that looked like he was counting his fingers. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” they pressed, stopping him for a moment.

“I could say the same to you,” he retorted at them. 

The Captain sighed, dragging a hand over their face.  
“Fine, it mostly happens if people bring up innocent deaths. Casualties and young ones.” It was far from untrue if someone mentioned hurting a child, or law forbid a child’s death, they usually shook with an attack or night terrors later.

“If someone mentions the past failures of my attempts to unthaw the colonists… it just… they’re…” Phineas tried explaining, looking down at the ground and pointing his toes together.

The Captain’s hand reached up, cupping his jaw and rubbing small circles on his cheek.   
“I understand. I forgive you for what you did because you were trying to save people. I’ve killed countless innocent people and creatures. I’m unforgivable,” they confessed, their eyes scanning over the small scars and wrinkles of his face, trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

Phineas reached up, far more tentatively - like the Captain was an easily startled deer - and cupped their face. He dragged their gaze down to his own.

“My dear, I forgive you. Perhaps too “unforgivable” immortals can forgive each other… and possibly help each other to forgive themselves,” he whispered, messing around with the soft scruff on their jaw. 

Tears started to well in their eyes as they Captain broke before him. Soft sniffles and whimpers escaped their lips as they pulled him closer for an impromptu hug in the middle of the bullet-proofed chamber they hadn’t noticed they’d entered.

It took quite a while for the Captain to calm down. Phineas was at least kind enough to rub their back and offer them words of support and comfort. It provided more comfort for them than he was aware of. 

When the Captain pulled away, they wiped their face on their sleeve, pulling a chuckle from Phineas’s lips.

“You’re disgusting,” he teased, grimacing at the snot that was now on their sleeve.

“Eh, I’ve done worse,” they shrugged, grinning back at him a little. They had, as they found themselves a magnet for grime during missions and on their ship. 

Phineas scrunched his nose at them. 

“Oh like you’re any better! Have you seen your room?” they retorted, swooping their arms down and picking him back up again. They just liked the heavy feeling of him in their arms, that he’s close and safe and they didn’t have to watch their pace while walking.

“Put me down!” Phineas protested, squirming a little as the Captain began to walk towards his quarters, farther in the Laboratory.

“In your dreams,” they replied a little insensitively, tensing slightly in anticipation of being told off about the comment. 

He never told them off though. Just rolled his eyes and relaxed as doors opened and closed for them to pass through. In a short time, they were standing in his living space. An enormous window to the expanse of space was in front of them, his bed placed in the center of the wall, a messy kitchen, as well as a work table, sat to their left. 

“You know, it feels a little better to be in here with you,” the Captain commented, striding over to Phineas’s bed. 

Phineas flustered in their arms as they settled him down on the bed. They laid him down on his back, propped up by his elbows, and settled between his slightly parted legs, bent upwards at the knees. Both parties’ boots and the offending shirt from earlier had been discarded.

“I’m not tired,” Phineas quickly quipped, eyes scanning the Captain with intrigue.

“Oh, we’re not going back to sleep,” the Captain replied with a smirk, one hand resting on his knee to part it to the side a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired slightly by Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbass Space Pirate takes Scientist with Isolationist tendencies for a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boi, you can really tell what songs were playing when I wrote this.

“Sparky!” he squeaked, his whole face lighting up like a Christmas tree as he scooted himself backwards so he was sitting up against the side of the bed.

The poor Captain blinked in confusion, the taste of rejection bitter on their tongue as they sat dumbfounded. Regaining theirself quickly, they started to stand up, hand running through the side of their head that actually had hair as a wild string of apologizes spilled from their mouth.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean too. I should’ve asked first. You probably think I’m weird, hell, look at me! Not even twenty-four hours ago I looked like shit, cowering under a mask as I was blowing people to Hell. I should go, give you some space. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” they rambled on, making their way to the door to his Laboratory. They were never good with apologies, or rejection. Hell, they were only good at talking because they were quick on their feet and people saw them as intimidating. 

Their door was on the keypad before Phineas was upon his feet. They were almost out the door, trying to rack their mind for some excuse as to why they were returning to the Unreliable without Phineas. 

The Captain’s whole body stilled when they felt the hand on their shoulder. It was small, much smaller than their own, considering Phineas’s forehead barely reached their nose. Yet, the single touch managed to freeze them completely. 

“It’s not that I don’t think you’re…” Phineas paused to swallow, trying to find the right words to describe the eccentric and outstandingly smart Captain whose come full circle to dumbass, “sensually stimulating. But, you’re wild and forward, and I’m not,” he explained, hoping the Captain would grasp what he was throwing them. 

The Captain blinked, the words processing in their mind. Phineas was… traditional? They hadn’t seemed to think that would even be a consideration. Was he trying to tell them to as him on a date? It seemed like a backwards way to go about it, but it also seemed like Phineas. 

Their tongue darted out, wetting their lips before they spoke.   
“Does your ship run?” they managed to get out, a small plan formulating in their mind. 

It was now Phineas’s turn to blink dumbfoundedly. It took him a moment, but eventually, he nodded his head, moving through his quarters for a small keychain with what looked to be a metal Raptidon on it. As well as a few keys.

“Here,” he grunted, not meeting their eyes. 

The Captain flung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him to their side. The heavy footfalls of steel-toed boots echoed through the halls of the Laboratory, mixed with the soft chuckles of the Captain. 

“Lighten up Phin. I’m not going to drag you off to Monarch, just got a place in mind to take ya. If you trust me,” the Captain laughed, their hand loosely gripping Phineas’s shoulder

He was stiff next to them, all the way to his ship. Even when they unlocked the front hatch and shouted over to Pravati who was examining the Unreliable on the outside that they were leaving for a bit but would be back. She gave them a thumbs up and there was a loud hoot from Nyoka and Felix inside the ship. 

Once they’d stepped inside, the smell of disinfectant and caffenoid that clung to Phineas was a million times harsher on their nose. They ship was a mess but in a good way. Like someone had rebuilt it from scratch. There were post-its everywhere, and it brought a smile to their face as Phineas steered them towards the front of the ship.

“Hello Dr.Welles, where would you like to go today?” the AI of his ship asked, more stiff and robotic than ADA. 

“Hello, NI, this is Captain Spark of the Unreliable, docked next to us. They will be driving today,” Phineas stated, a nervous quiver in his voice as he sat down in the passenger seat of the ship.

“Hello Captain Spark, where would you like to go?” NI repeated as the Captain settled themselves in the driver’s seat. It was smaller, with a soft dent in the material that the Captain guess was Phineas’s outline from him sitting in it for countless trips. The seat in the Unreliable had the same problem.

“The Groundbreaker please,” the Captain requested as the machine around them started to whir to life.

“Very well then,” NI replied as the ship started to move from the dock of the Laboratory. 

Stars passed by as silence fell between the two beings and the AI. The Captain snuck a glance towards Phineas, his hair was frazzled more than usual and he was watching out the window with worry and wonder on his face. He looked smaller here, more insignificant and maybe he knew that. Taking him out of his Laboratory was a bold move, so they didn’t know how he’d react. 

The ship docked with silence, NI simply relaying the message to them. The Captain nodded, standing from their seat as they could see a few of the ground members glancing at the ship uneasily. 

“I’m gonna go talk to Udom and make sure that there isn’t a bounty for you here,” they simply stated as Phineas stayed in his seat. 

He nodded at them.  
“Alright,” he managed to mumble.

The Captain was worried, not that they’d let it show. Phineas was quiet, he wasn’t quite ever. It scared them far more than they’d like to admit due to the fact that they’d often hold a long conversation over nothing with him. 

With one last look over at Phineas, they stepped off the ship. Their arms were folded behind their head as they strolled off the ship and down the dock. People didn’t stop them, but there was a whisper amongst the crowd. They heard their name, many times over. It was unnerving.

“Leanord, my old friend. It cool if I leave my ship here and relax for a moment?” they asked, strolling up to the front of the Groundbreaker where the usual staff member stood to man the gates.

“Captain Spark, I wasn’t aware you got a new ship,” he said, pressing the button to open the gates.

“Ain’t my ship. It’s a friend of mines,” they dismiss, walking through the gates and throwing a quick “thanks” over their shoulder to the baffled guard. 

Getting through the Groundbreaker was easy. No-one stopped them as they made their way to Udom’s office. Their weapons were sheathed, their armour was replaced with a t-shirt and sweatpants, and there was a complacent smile on their face. 

Udom was sitting in his office when they entered. 

“Udom, so, I have a question for you,” they started, stopping in front of his desk.

“Captain Spark, how may I help you?” he replied, looking up from the paperwork that cluttered his desk.

“You know about the bounty on Phineas Welles head?” 

Udom blinked at them, readjusting the collar of his shirt.  
“What about it?”

“Has it been dismissed yet?” they asked blankly, staring daggers at him. 

Slowly, Udom nodded in defeat. 

“Yes. The new Chairman has dismissed it. He got your message loud and clear and told me to tell you that it’s his way of saying his thanks,” Udom relayed, handing a voided wanted poster to the Captain.

Trying to contain their excitement with a stoic expression, they snatched the wanted poster from his hands.  
“Wonderful! So, do you mind if I take him for a few drinks here? Under the pretence that if anyone even _attempts_ to hurt him I’ll smash their face in?” they chirped, masking their bubbling excitement with their usual sadistic grin. 

Udom swallowed, averting their gaze.  
“He is under the protection of the Board… no one should hurt him,” he admitted with defeat in his voice. Udom had wanted Phineas arrested, it would’ve raised his reputation, so his reaction didn’t surprise them. 

“Cool! Thanks!” they dismissed, turning on their heels and jogging out of his office.

They jogged their way back to Phineas’s ship, entering the ship quickly and dropping the poster on Phineas’s lap with a triumphant grin. He blinked at them. 

“You’re free. Now, get up,” they instructed, hands on their hips and smile spread wide. 

“I um… are you sure? That you even want to be seen with me, I mean?” Phineas asked, looking over the poster with a dissatisfied frown, completely avoiding the Captain’s gaze.

The Captain huffed, bending down and cupping his jaw so it tilted up towards their own. Without a real warning, they pressed their lips to his. Soft and taking their time to get lost in the taste of caffenoid and last night’s Purpleberry Liquor. They pulled back, wiping their thumb across his bottom lip.

“Does that answer your question?” they whispered, still cupping his jaw.

“Well… not exactly? You’re rather physical and I… I’m just a broken old man,” Phineas tried to explain, the words feeling heavy on his tongue.

The Captain fully crouched down, now at eye-level with the fretting man. 

“You’re not broken or old to me. You’re just you. I want to be seen with you, to let the whole colony know I have such a brilliant man wrapped up in my arms,” they teased, a hand reaching down and resting on the curve of Phineas’s hip. 

They tucked how it was a little rounder for later, they could tell he’d taken testosterone at one point in his life, possibly hormone blockers, but apart from his chest, they really had no real idea what Phineas’s body actually looked like.

“Sparky, you know I’m ri-” he started to protest, breaking the Captain’s soft side and shaking it like a nuclear-glowstick until it was bright and red hot.

Their mouth was back on him in seconds, stopping the words from coming out. It was short, just meant to shut him up, but his hands rested on their thighs and they almost melted.

“Phin, if you say one more self-deprecating thing, I swear to Law I will take you right here and now in the middle of the Groundbreakers dock. Or, we can go on a nice date, see some sights, and then I can ravish you back in my ship or our lab or hell, even the Hope if you wanted.”

Phineas gawked at them. His mind had been slowed to a few thoughts per minute ever since the other night after Tartarus, but right now? Hell, it was at most one. The effect the Captain had on him was staggering, all his efforts were focused on pleasing them, keeping them happy, not fucking everything up. Except, here they were, offering to take it as slow as they could and show him a little bit of their own.

“I… well… if you’d like to,” he mumbles, offering them a soft smile of uncertainty.

They beamed, standing up quickly and offering him a hand.  
“Well then, up we get, eh?”

Phineas took their hand, allowing them to guide him off of the ship and down the ramp of the ship. Peoples heads turned and eyes bore holes into him as they guided him towards the gates to the promenade. 

The Captain was pretty quick to notice how much Phineas shrunk by their side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him flush to their side.   
“I’ve got you, don’t worry,” they whisper, squeezing his shoulder in confirmation. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles back, eyes trained on each person they walked past. 

The Captain stared at the security guard when they reached the gates.   
“Chairman’s orders, he’s with me,” they state to Leanord.

A look that makes Phineas quiver slightly in his boots crosses the guards face as he looks from him to the Captain. Finally, after what felt like forever, he opens the gate. 

He felt a little better from that. It was the reassurance that the Captain was there for him that he needed. As they walked past the next gates and onto the actual promenade, they felt him stop.

Looking over at him, his mouth was open a little as he stared out into the sea of neon signs and shop fronts. A smile crossed their face, genuine and proud. He looked how they’d felt when they first stepped on the Groundbreaker.

“You been here before?” they questioned, turning towards him a little. 

Phineas nodded his head slightly, stilling gazing out at the scene in front of him.  
“Once, in passing. I never really had the chance to look at the signs. Too busy getting supplies,” he mumbled, leaning into the Captain, “Why?”

“You look like I did when I first saw it,” they simply state, pressing a kiss to his cheek. They grabbed his hand and started to walk down the promenade. 

Phineas blushed as the Captain lead him down the promenade. They snuck a glance or two when they’d turn the corner. He was glowing, dare they say radiant, underneath the neon signs. His white hair was an array of colours and his paler skin was the perfect canvas for the bright light. They also just liked that he was still wearing their hoodie. 

The first task was to stop by one of the shops and get him a new laboratory outfit. They’d given him the few they’d salvaged out of missions, however, a newer one was more well suited for working within sterilized environments. Convincing him to get one was easier said than done, as he protested about spending their bits on frivolous things. They had to goat him into it by buying themselves one as well. It seemed to work, so they stored the knowledge away for later.

Next, they took him to Auntie’s Kitchen. A place they frequently enjoyed to visit for the food. Watching Phineas stuff his face with greasy food like it was his last, was probably one of the cutest things they’d ever witnessed. The way he’d reached for a napkin quickly to catch the sauce dripping down his chin as they took small bites; how he quickly apologized after finishing his quicker than them; the colour his face turned when they offered him part of theirs and how he’d happily shared; it was just enrapturing to the starstruck Captain.

Hell, even the way he’d leant on the counter as they haggled with Martin at Spacer’s Choice for lower-priced Cosmic Smoke in an attempt to avoid the vending machines. They must’ve succeeded, as Martin handed over twelve cases for six bits. Phineas didn’t really know the base price of the product.

“I’d take you to the bar, but we kinda drank ourselves under last night,” the Captain managed to say with a cigarette hanging between their teeth as they dug around for a lighter in their pocket.

“I think I’ve had enough of eyes staring at me for the night,” Phineas replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Shit sorry, I didn’t realize. You could’ve said somethin’ Phin,” they apologized, finally finding the lighter and letting a cloud of multi-coloured smoke leave their lips after they took a drag from the cigarette. 

“It’s perfectly alright. I enjoyed the evening none-the-less,” Phineas stated, reaching for the Captain’s free hand as they started to head back to the ship.

The Captain raised an eyebrow to disguise a smug smirk on their lips.  
“You sure?” they asked, letting the smoke roll out of their mouth as they spoke.

“Positive,” Phineas nodded with a soft smile.

The way his lips curled upwards when he smiled, quirking the crows feet at the edge of his eyes, well, it made the Captain more than a little fluttery. It stuttered their heart each time they saw it. As they walked back to the ship, they watched him, their hand still folded in his. His wild hair looked in desperate need of a brush, but also wild, bringing character to the plain hoodie that hung off his shoulders. It enraptured the Captain, even when all he was doing was breath. Because he was alive. He was alive because of them.

They were still smoking when they entered the ship. Several thin rings of iridescent smoke floated in front of them as the ship drove itself back to the lab. They were on their third now, trying to relieve the stress in their stomach and the taste clinging to their tongue. They knew they were addicted, but they never bothered to break the habit. It couldn’t kill them, so what was the harm in having a little fun?

“Why do you smoke those things?” Phineas asked blankly, a puzzled expression on his face as he watched them blow yet another smoke ring from the shrinking cigarette. 

They shrug, leaning their arm over to offer him the cigarette.   
“Don’t know. Taste good I suppose. Wanna try?” they offer, still holding out the cigarette to him. 

“I’d rather not. However, maybe I can conduct further research without…” his sentence trails off as he moves to the stunned Captain’s lap. He straddles them, fitting perfectly in their lap as he cups their jaw and kisses them hard. He drags his tongue across their lips to part them, tasting the sweet kaleidoscope of confetti on their lips as they struggle to hold on to the cigarette and his hips at the same time. 

He doesn’t seem bothered with stopping, pressing them further into the chair and hips grinding absent-mindedly on their hips as his hands start to roam. One trails down their toned chest, dragging over the muscles there, as the other pulls intentionally at their blood-red hair. There’s a need to let him continue, deep and primal in their chest, but they can feel the blood rushing south, starting to tend. Begrudgingly, the Captain shifts him backwards, breaking their lips apart.

“You sure you want to do this, Phin?” they rasp, taking a drag from the quickly shrinking cigarette as they gaze up at him. Spit is on the side of his mouth and his eyes are half-lidded, it’s sinful to see him like this. 

Then he leans forward and the Captain lets out a strangled moan. He cups their ever-growing hardness with skill and confidence, squeezing in all the right places as he trails kisses down their jaw and neck. They don’t do anything but sit back and watch. Correction; they can’t. His hand is placed on their chest, pinning them to the seat as he strips them of their shirt, tossing it behind them. 

He shifts between their legs, still trailing his lips down their skin and leaving brilliant marks across it. He settles on the ground, slim hands fiddling with the waistband of their pants. This time, he looks up at them with a question.

“Anatomy. Explain?” he asks, scientific side coming out in the low husky voice laced with lust. 

“I had surgery back on Earth. Works like a normal dick,” they grunt, reaching down and cupping his jaw, “What about you? How can I make you comfortable and spoil you?”

His eyes drop a little, staring at the Captain’s torso.  
“I still have my original parts,” he admits shyly, “I never felt the need to change them.”

A wild grin appears on the Captain’s face. Putting out their cigarette, they bend down, pulling him back onto their lap with both hands on his hips. They flip him over so that he’s pressed against the chair and they’re leaning over him.

“So, you mean if do this…?” they whisper, pressing a thumb to the soft mound between his legs.

A desperate whine leaves his lips quickly, his hips bucking upwards into their hand. It was a little exaggerated, more than they expected, however, it dawned on them that it was probably the first time another human had touched him in years. So, they kept going. 

They shifted his waistband down, pulling the pants and underwear to pool at his ankles. With expert ease, they lift his legs over their head and rest them on their shoulder. He’s on display for them, in glory and embarrassment. With a smirk, they part his folds, leaning forwards and sucking with vigour on his dick. It earns them music in the form of moans and whines as his hands fly down to grip their hair. 

They use their own hands to part his thighs and slip a finger inside him. He bucks his hips upwards, desperate and needy into their face. They meet him with ease, placing a hand on his hips to ease the thrusts before continuing. They dig in, licking and sucking their way around. Fingers are removed, replaced with a tongue that darts deep with ease, tasting the slightly salty and sweet juices as they start to coat their chin. 

It’s not the first time they’d eaten someone and they’d be damned if they’d do it wrong, even if it had been a couple of decades. They replace their fingers again, pushing in two as they move to spread attention to his dick as well. They wiggle, stretch and play with their fingers in him, causing him to squirm around them as they keep him still at the hips. 

He digs his thighs into their head on the third finger, the only warning they get before he’s shaking through the climax. For his sake, they keep going until he’s begging them and pulling them up. Their whole face is covered with slick and they’re grinning like a mad-man. 

Phineas is panting, white-knuckles around the arm of the chair, as he stares at them with glossy eyes.  
“Fuck… that was something else,” he breathes as the Captain wipes their mouth with their hand and licks it clean. 

“Think you can go again?” they ask, not wanting to pressure him but eager to please. A wild smile is on their face, and the tent in their pants is larger than before.

Phineas matches their grin.  
“Only if you’ll fuck me,” he says with vulgar language, reaching forwards and gripping the Captain’s dick.

They need no more convincing. They’re already dropping their sweatpants, leaving themselves bare to his eyes, still appreciating the sight he is in their hoodie. Phineas sucks in a gasp at the sight, their length is rather impressive, they’d made sure to as for that, but it was the girth that made it even more of a sight. 

Slowly, they replaced their fingers, leaning forwards and capturing every moan with a heavy kiss. They make quick work of stretching him out, dragging their slick coated hand over their cock when they position themselves. Phineas is staring up at them, bring their mouth back down to his with arms around their necks. 

It’s indescribable when they finally sink inside him. It’s like finally starting a fire on a cold night of travels when your bones are starting to chill and you’re huddling for warmth. It’s roaring in your face and they can’t help but sheath themselves as far as they can. 

Phineas groans into the kiss, hooking his ankles around their hips, pants danging off one foot. They start to move when he yanks on their hair. It’s slow at first, increasing as he continues to pull. Their hair was always a trigger point for them, pull it and they’d be at your mercy. Somehow, he’d found out without them saying a word. 

They almost worried they’d break him at the pace he asked to be set. The way the old space ship’s seat rocked underneath them as they relentlessly kept going, drilling their hips into him and chasing their own release. One hand flew down to help him, rubbing circles around his clit, trying to find exactly how to make him squirm. When they did, they kept going, moving faster and slower until it matched the pace of their thrusts.

Phineas groaned, pulling back from the kiss.  
“Spary… close” was all he could muster out. It sounded like a mixture of their name and very, but they weren’t one to be picky at the moment. 

“Me too,” they growl in his ear, lacing his neck with as many hickeys as they could muster.

Hips moved faster and nails racked their back as they chased both releases. A moan that would make pornstars blush rippled from Phineas’s lips as he clenched down and came around them, pulling them over the edge bu the front of their shirt as they spilt inside him. 

In one last fit of strength, the Captain flipped Phineas onto their lap and collapsed on the chair, letting the smaller man pant on his chest to catch his breath. 

“Fuck… that was…” Phineas started to mumble, a small yawn escaping his lips as the ship pulled into the port on the lab. He snuggled up to their chest, getting comfortable. 

“Fucking amazing,” the Captain finished with a chuckle before passing out from exhaustion.

“Yeah,” Phineas mumbled, falling asleep as well.


	6. Chapter 6

Phineas lurched upwards in bed, clutching his chest and trying to catch his breath. Looking around, he found himself in his bedroom. There was a clattering from the kitchen and voices talking quietly. Listening closely, he deciphered who it was.

“So, I was thinking about going to help Junlei. She asked me too, and well, we’re not doing any more missions. If that’s okay with you, Captain?” Pravati was saying.

He couldn’t see them, but he knew that they nodded.

“Of course. She makes you happy and you’ll do great on the Groundbreaker,” the Captain replied, something sizzling in the background. 

“Really?! You think so?” Parvati asked, giggling in her voice.

“Mhm. I know the others are planning to go their separate ways now. I’m glad.”

There was a pause in the conversation. Phineas fought the urge to get up and hug the Captain. He felt like he should, from the tone of their voice, and how this was hard for them to hear and admit. But, he also knew the Captain could fight their own battles and they were going to lose many friends in their life now. They already had.

“You’re always gonna be our Captain, you know that. Right? You gonna be okay on your own?” Parvati asked sincerity and care in her voice. 

The Captain sighed before replying.   
“There was a day when I felt like I’d be lost when you all left, however…” their voice trailed off with a wistful breathe. “I’ve got Phineas now. I’ll be okay.”

“Good for you Captain! We were all wondering when you’d find someone, Ellie was even starting to worry,” Parvati remarked, earning a scoff from the Captain.

“My personal life is none of your concern,” they grumbled embarrassedly.

“Nah, it totally is. You’re part of our family. Plus, you helped me with Junlei.”

“...thank you Parvati. You should probably start packing if you’d like a ride to the Groundbreaker.”

“Right! I’ll see you in…?”

“Thirty minutes. Tell the others too. But please, let me eat first,” they grunt as footsteps of heavy boots start to ring through the quarters. 

“You got it!” Parvati shouted while walking off.

Phineas took the opportunity now to get out of bed. He was always terrible with emotions and people, so he was glad the conversation had ended before either of them had figured out he was awake. 

The Captain was cooking one of his many frozen dinners on the stove. His kitchen looked surprisingly clean, perhaps they’d tidied it? How long had he been out?

He coughed behind them, watching as they whipped their head around with wide eyes. 

“Oh! Phineas, it’s just you,” they chuckled awkwardly, abandoning their meal and crossing the short distance to him. 

Phineas rubbed the back of his neck, walking towards them and meeting them halfway.  
“How long did you let me sleep?” he questioned immediately, looking into their white eyes. 

“Just a couple hours. You were pretty tired since you woke up at four this morning. It’s six now if you’re curious, in the evening I mean,” the Captain supplied, brush their hand across the side of his face and tucking back tendrils of messy hair. 

“That long?! I have work to do!” Phineas exclaimed, entering a sort of panicked state when the news hit him. He retreated into his mind to work out just how many people he couldn’t revive in the short time he’d slept.

“Hey, hey. Relax. It’s okay, I’ll drop you off at the Hope first, you can gather everything and we can get to work when I pick you back up,” they explained, picking him up by the hips and setting him down on the kitchen counter, much to his dismay. They returned to cooking their dinner, as well as a second one he noticed. 

“That’s almost fifteen people we didn’t revive!” he protested, trying to get off the counter. “I don’t have time to eat! We have to go!”

The Captain sighed, placing a hand over his stomach and holding him to the counter. 

“Phin… I want to revive them as much as you do, but we have literally forever. We can spare a few hours to eat and sleep so we’re alive to do the work,” they huff, placing a soft kiss on his jaw that was now sprouting a five o’clock shadow. 

Grumbling, Phineas stayed on the counter. He didn’t protest when they handed him a frozen dinner to eat, simply grumbling to himself as he ate the food provided. He had to admit, the Captain could make even frozen dinner taste good. 

Once both had eaten, and dishes had been done - mostly by the Captain, he didn’t exactly know how to do dishes - they departed for the Unreliable. 

The Captain’s whole crew was on the ship, all having individual bags packed and ready. Despite his better judgement, Phineas took up residence with the Captain in the front of the ship. He decided that it might be better to get the Hope colonists with the Captain for backup. Yes, that was it. 

When they docked on the Groundbreaker, it was all tears and goodbyes. The Captain hugged Parvati long and hard, not wanting to let go quite yet. They promised to come to visit whenever they needed new snacks, and that they’d check-in and call her if they need repairs for any of the four ships they now had. It was good to have her nearby. They trusted Junlei to keep her safe and happy, but also wound up giving her the threatening parent talk about hurting her that they knew Parvati’s father would’ve said as well. Junlei took it in good humour at least, promising that she’d love Parvati forever. Satisfied, they waved goodbye and headed to the next destination. 

Nyoka had requested Monarch. She was going to form some mercenaries too keep the planet safe. The Captain had a relationship similar to drinking buddies with her, winding up with most of her dark secrets. However, they understood the need to protect her home and sent her off with some of their private stash of booze. It was far less crying and hugs.

SAM went to Scylla to spread the word about SAM units. Being a robot he didn’t require gifts or hugs as he sent off. The Captain still wished him well. 

The last three people went to Byzantium. 

For Ellie; she was going to buy herself a ship and do supply runs for the new Chairman since she’d been with the Captain when they’d met him in his house and got off on the right foot. Ellie was also given a bottle of her favourite alcohol, and a new gun, just in case. The Captain gave her a long hug, thankful for all the times she’d been there for them and the crew.

Felix and Vicar Max were travelling together, surprising everyone. Max was going to help others in their own times of lost and need, and Felix was going to be his hard labour like he’d done on the Unreliable. No one brought it up, but they could all see why the two of them were travelling together. Both were given weapons and booze from the Captain’s stash, as well as an awkward group hug. On the Captain’s way back, they whistled, causing both to blush.

The Captain personally escorted all three to the Chairman’s office so that they’d have ships to have safe passage throughout the colony. They made sure to tell everyone they sent off that they could visit any time, but to call ahead just in case. 

Once they knew everyone was safe and on their own journeys, they took the time to make sure all bounties were cleared on Phineas’s head, as well as to let the Chairman know they’d start on the revival of the Hope’s colonists later that day. He’d tried to send a team of scientist with them, however, they brushed it off on the account of both their own and Phineas’s sanity. 

It was hard for the Captain to deport from Byzantium and fly back to the Hope. They slumped into their seat, fishing the Cosmic Smoke from their pocket and lighting a cigarette with a shaking hand. They took a long drag with a defeated sigh.

“Do you think we’ll see them again?” they mumbled, watching as the ship docked in the Hope, on their third cigarette. 

“I don’t think your strays will ever be away for too long,” Phineas chuckled, placing a hand on their shoulder.

They reached up and placed their own hand on his.   
“They’re _our_ strays now, Phin,” they mumbled, moving to get up when the ship finally lurched to a stop. 

Phineas stayed silent, contemplating that comment as they walked through the Hope to the retrieval area. He punched in the codes, scanning the documents for the exact people he required. 

“Who’s coming with us?” the Captain asks, leaning against their rifle. 

“Less important colonists. If I’m wrong, we can’t lose brilliant minds,” Phineas mumbles, punching in the codes.

The Captain nods as their eyes watch a few pods being moved through the way towards their ship.   
“Fair enough,” they reply with a click of their tongue, resting their hand on his him. He jumps at the touch like a startled deer, causing the Captain to pull their hand back.  
“Sorry,” they mumbled softly.

“N-no, it’s fine. This place is just… I keep remembering the times I’ve been here alone,” Phineas admits, turning to face the Captain as the last of five pods moves towards their ship.

“Okay,” they whisper, reaching out and lacing their fingers with him cautiously. It has their heart-pounding to be here too, but their time awake here was so minimal. They couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it was for Phineas.

He leans into their side as they walk back to the ship. All the pods already loaded into the cargo bay of the ship, ready for departure. It’s a short journey back, an even shorter one to haul the pods into his laboratory. It’s spent in silence mostly, save for the few directions on where to place the pods from Phineas. 

It’s easy to fall into a rhythm with him. They don’t start all at once, instead, selecting a pod to start with and testing out Phineas’s formula. After its administered and the pod is thawing, the Captain is able to coax him into his quarters on the pretence that they can monitor the subject from inside, rather than waiting around for the twelve hours it takes to thaw someone. 

“I told you, I don’t need rest,” Phineas protests as the Captain carries him over to his bed.

“You’ve been up for twenty-four hours, Phin. We both have,” they grunt, setting him down on the bed and moving to strip off their laboratory scrubs. 

“I just need some caffenoid!” Phineas declares, standing up from the bed and attempting to move to the kitchen.

“No, I moved your caffenoid to my ship. It’s unhealthy Phin, a ploy to get workers to last longer,” they lecture, pulling him close and pinning him against the wall. 

Phineas’s eyebrows shoot up from being pinned to the wall by his wrists.   
“Still not tired Sparky,” he whispers breathlessly as the Captain’s free hand traces down the side of his torso and hooks under his scrubs. They’re shirtless already, labcoat discarded with Phineas’s at the entrance to his quarters.

“Don’t worry, I can solve that,” the Captain smirks, tugging Phineas’s shirt off over his head and tossing it behind them. They move to his pants, making quick work of them and having them suffer the same fate as his shirt, leaving him in his underwear. 

Their hands hook over the side of his boxers and slide them down until they’re pooled at his ankles. He’s blushing furiously, watching as the Captain drops to their knees, keenly placing Phineas’s legs over their shoulders so that he’s floating in the air. Calloused hands, skilled from years of guitar drag over his inner thighs. He shivers under the touch, hands resting on the Captain’s head.

The Captain leans forwards, taking his dick into their mouth and softly rubbing a finger at the front of his entrance. A strangled moan escapes his lips as they push the finger inside, panting furiously and gripping at their hair. 

Relentlessly, the Captain moves the finger in and out, adding another quickly, getting slick all over their chin due to the close proximity. They curl their fingers up, hitting different spots until Phineas shivers on top of them and grips their hair harder. 

“There?” they ask, starting to move their tongue over him in a zig-zag pattern. 

“Y-yes,” Phineas grunts, hand in their long hair and the other grazing for purchase over the shaven side. 

The Captain grins, adding a third finger and deliberately hitting the same spot again. Three times in a row, then they give him a break, before repeating. They suckle on his dick, looking up through lidded eyes to see the glorious image of Phineas’s eyes rolled backwards and his bottom lip pulled tense into his mouth, blush dusting across his cheeks.

They chuckle, sending little waves up his body as they continue the motions with his fingers, changing the number up every once in a while. The next time they strike the spot, he groans, pulling their hair hard and cumming around their mouth.

With a grin, the Captain shifts backwards, wiping their mouth off. They guide him down, carrying him over to the bed and settling down nicely with him spooned into their side. A freehand strokes his hair, murmuring soft words to him as they feel him drift to sleep. It’s a pleasant feeling knowing he’s asleep and resting, an almost impossible task to do. Hopefully, they found the solution, cause they’d have no protests on doing that every night for forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went there.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW ; Alchohol abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, this is my lowest growsing fic. Oh well, since when have I cared about hits?

The Captain woke with a jolt, lurching up in bed when a blaring alarm started going off. Phineas was already up, tugging on his lab coat. He hurled the Captain theirs and the two of them darted down the hallway back to the lab. 

There were red lights everywhere, an alarm blaring in the Captain’s ear as they stood awkwardly to the side, watching Phineas. He occasionally asked for help, to move the colonist to the table, to pass a scalpel, for some gauze. They didn’t even know if they were helping. 

Swallowing hard, they watch the heart monitor drop, the beat slowing down rapidly. Then, before they could pull him back, the colonist exploded all over Phineas and the equipment. It was loud, and disgusting, with guts going everywhere and blood soaking everything. 

They watched him startle, the colour drain from his face. His eyes darted from the carcass and to the mix for the next colonist. When he rapidly moved forwards again, to keep working, they lurched and grabbed him, wrapping their arms around his waist from behind.

“Phin, no,” they mumbled into his ear, head resting on his shoulder. He was shaking in their arms, trying to throw them off to keep working, but the strength difference was like a mountain between the two of them. 

“I can’t stop! I have to revive the colonists!” he protested, starting to kicking himself free. 

They sighed, holding him tightly as he kept kicking. They let him exhaust himself out until all he could do was sob and shake in their arms. It was the first colonist they’d lost, but for him, it was in the hundreds. They knew when someone needed to take a break or they’d break. They’d seen it happen to Nyoka on Monarch. It happened to them on Tartarus. It was painful and torturous. He couldn’t keep working. They wouldn’t let him torture himself. 

“Phin… it’s okay. Let it out, it’s okay,” they mumbled into his ear, moving their arms down to brace his back and behind his knees as the scooped him up in their arms. 

“NO! I have to save them!” he continued to protest, trying to break free from the Captain’s grip.

“Phineas, you can’t save them right now. Let it go,” they said through gritted teeth. They had their patience, it was a virtue they held on a pedestal. However, it was wearing thin right now.

And, like a child testing their parents for boundaries, Phineas kept pushing.   
“No! No! NO! It’s my fault! I must’ve got the formula wrong! I have to help them! Please! I can’t just leave them today!” he screamed and the Captain finally set him down. 

The Captain clenched their fists as he got up and scrambled for his work station, mumbling to himself and scribbling something down on his paper. They turned around and started stalking towards the exit.

“Fine. Do what you want, I’m going to go get drunk somewhere if you’d rather work with blood and guts caked on you than take a god damn shower,” they grumbled, punching the door button and not even waiting as it slides shut behind them. 

Their hands go to their pocket, fishing out the package of cigarettes and lighting one. The smoke swirled from their lips as they stormed to the Unreliable, not even looking back as they entered. 

“To the Groundbreaker, ADA,” they barked, storming up to their room. 

“Should I let Parvati know you’re coming, Captain?” she simply asked. 

“Doesn’t matter to me. Gonna drink until I pass out,” the Captain grunted, shucking off their scrubs and labcoat, exchanging them for their normal street clothes. 

If ADA could tell something was wrong, she kept her mouth shut. When the ship docked on the Groundbreaker, she told them to stay out of trouble, but nothing more. The Captain was well on their fifth cigarette by then, smelling heavily of Cosmic Smoke. 

They managed to find their way to the Lost Hope, grunting at the fitting title. The bartender didn’t even bat an eye at them when they sat down and ordered the strongest drink they had. It was cheap at least, which was good because, within thirty minutes, they’d drank ten. A record for them. At least they had the money to pay for it.

By the fifteenth drink, they couldn’t even remember the reason they were angry… or was it upset? Whatever the reason was, it was lost on them. All they could feel was the hurt pooled in their chest and the slow numbing of the alcohol. 

On their fiftieth, it all came crashing back. They’d lost their crew in under two days, nearly lost Phineas in one, and just when they got him back, he slipped back into his work again. No work was that important, the Hope colonists weren’t going anywhere at the moment, and there was one standing right in front of him telling him to take a break, even just for a moment. He couldn’t even see that, did he even see them? Standing there, trying to help him they felt like a ghost. A haunting spirit from his past he was trying to forget. They’d just got him back! They’d just got him back… yet already he was pulling away.

Parvati found them on their hundredth. They were leaning against the bar, tears dampening the surface underneath as they clung to glass for dear life. A cigarette in their other hand. They were pounding it back like it was the secret life, showing no mercy to themself. 

“Captain?” she asked tentatively, standing next to them. 

“Go away,” they slur, not even looking up at her. 

“You can’t sit here forever. You’ll drink yourself to death,” she protested, reaching forwards to take the drink from their hand. 

“I can’t. My body doesn’t let that happen,” they slur, waving the bartender down for another drink.

“You give them one more drink and you’ll be answering to Junlei,” Parvati threatens the poor man, watching as he backs off. 

“Fine! I’ll just go drink on my ship!” the Captain exclaims, standing up too quickly from the stool and watching as the world sways around them. 

“Captain, you can’t drink for the rest of your days!” she protests, reaching out to stop them.

She doesn’t even have to as they nose dive right into the floor with a quick “watch me” falling from their lips. Paravati huffs, snuffing out their cigarette and picking them up. She hoists them up and stumbles them back to their ship, instructing ADA to take them home after she hid all of their alcohol in a safe location on the ship. She leaves the Captain in their bed and watches as the ship takes off again. Junlei finds her way to her side, patting her on the back. 

“You did the right thing,” she comforts her, pulling her close.

“I hope you’re right,” Parvati mumbles, slumping into her.

* * *

When the Unreliable lands on Phineas’s lab, the Captain is still asleep. The Captain continues to sleep for several hours, well into the next day. When they finally awake, they’re met with a splitting headache like Nyoka put a blade through their skull. 

“Fucking hell,” they grunt, sitting up and watching the world spin. It takes them eight seconds to dash to the bathroom and hurl up all of last night’s poison. They didn’t bother with eating anything, didn’t feel like it, so it’s all booze. It burns their throat, and they groan, not leaving the side of the bowl for another thirty minutes.

Walking to the kitchen was hard, but making breakfast was the hardest part. They could barely stop the pounding as they rifled around for their medicine. Thank the Law that they had a few left. Their headache was gone in a second. Finally relieved, they continued cooking themselves breakfast. It was simple, fried pre-sliced bread and mock-apple jam, but it tasted like ho-. Earth. It tasted like Earth. Like the toast, their ex would make them after a particularly bad night out.

Why couldn’t they’d just stayed on Earth? They would’ve been happy at least, even when they’d lost everything to the break-up. Hell, they could’ve been happy here. Had they not told Phineas and fucked up everything, they could’ve spent decades with him, reviving colonists and smoking under the stars. But they had to go and fuck it up. They opened their mouth and messed up everything. Just like every other time they had something good. 

They were glaring at the kitchen table when someone coughed next to them. Their whole body jumped as they reached for their pistol, aiming it at the intruder. 

“Don’t shoot!” 

Their fear quickly turned into a glare as they stared daggers at Phineas. He was dressed in his usual clothes, the leather get-up he’d worn since the day they met him. His hands were up in surrender and he held a pack of Cosmic Smoke in one. 

“ADA, why’d you let _him_ in?” they growled, still glaring at him as they set the gun down on the table. Phineas didn’t move, still standing with his hands up, eyes trained on them.

“He has been visiting every fifteen minutes since I docked. I took pity on him after the fifth time,” ADA replied, the blatant truth stinging the Captain’s pride and dowsing their anger. Not that they’d show it. Not to him. Not right now. 

“Well, Phineas Welles, you must want something. Spit it out,” the Captain barked, crunching down on the last remnants of their toast. Phineas takes a small gulp before starting to walk towards them, forcing them to snarl and speak with a mouthful.  
“Back the fuck up. I didn’t say move.” Malice hangs heavy in their voice. They were hurt, deeply. A simple hug - no matter how much they craved one - wouldn’t solve it.

Phineas stopped in his tracks, arms at his side as he held out the package of cigarettes to them. Their eyes flickered on them, catching a glimpse of a single cigarette between his fingers.  
“I just want to talk. That’s all I ask,” he explains. There’s no hint of lying in his tone, no ill-intent on his face. The Captain gulps, trying to steady their anger. 

“Fine,” they snarl, ripping the package of cigarettes from his hand and storming out of the ship. Phineas follows behind them, giving them space as they light a cigarette and drop their legs over the side of the landing platform.   
“Out with it,” they spit, smoke curling out from their nostrils. 

Phineas slumps down beside them, keeping a safe distance for their sake.   
“When I took that shower, I figured out what I did wrong. I’d given them the wrong dosage, too low because I’d used the measurements from cystypigs instead of your file,” he explains. If he’s looking at them, they can’t tell.

“Wow… it’s almost like I was right,” the Captain remarks, taking a long drag from their cigarette and watching the iridescent smoke tendrils swirl in the air. They can feel tears pooling in their eyes.

“You were. I should’ve taken a break. You were right,” he admits, running the hand that didn’t have the unlit cigarette in it, through his hair. 

“Funny how that is,” they quip, finishing the cigarette and starting a new one as they stared out into the endless abyss before them.

“What more do you want from me?!” Phineas suddenly shouts, turning his whole body towards them. It startles the Captain, forcing them to turn and face him.

Tears streak down their cheeks as they stare at him, an unlit cigarette hanging between their fingers. “Phineas, I tried to get you to take a break for a shower and you refused. You were covered in guts, shaking and crying, and you refused. How the hell do you want me to react? I’m not going to push you to do something when you don’t want my help.”

They watch as his head slumps down and he pulls his knees up to his chest. It doesn’t help the tear tracks already marking their face.  
“I’m sorry. I… if I don’t revive them… if I don’t repent for the lives that I’ve lost on my way to saving them… if I can’t revive more than I’ve killed… then what am I? I’m just a monster. I can’t live with myself if that happens…” he admits through broken sobs. 

Disregarding their cigarette, they pull him closer to them, wrapping their arms around him until he’s flush with their thigh.  
“You are not a monster. I’ve killed hundreds of people, you’ve barely killed one-hundred and fifty. You’re doing it for a good cause, but that cause shouldn’t cost you your sanity. You don’t need to work day and night, they’re not going to die or go anywhere. We have the Chairman’s protection to do this and we can take as long as we need. But you need to tell me what to do the next time this happens,” the Captain explains, rubbing his back and trying to calm him down a little. Reputation be damned, nothing was worth more than him.

Phineas calms down enough to tell them his theory;  
“I don’t know the exact name, it just feels like I’m suffering their pain and I can’t do anything to help them. They’ve only ever occurred when I lose a patient, started around the time I lost the fifth one.”

The Captain sucks in a hiss of air. That’s far too long to put yourself through, and to continuously do it over and over again intentionally… they couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it is. Carefully, they run a hand through his hair. 

“Okay. Next time one happens, I am taking you to your room or the ship. It might help. And if you feel one coming on, tell me. But you have to let me help out more because I can’t just stand there and do nothing while you work. I’m a scientist too goddamnit!” they admit as he finally calms down next to them enough to sit up and wipe his face.

“I’ll teach you. Your bedside manner might be better than mine, so it’s worth a shot,” Phineas agrees, looking up at them with a soft, Phineas smile. It quirks the side of his lips slightly and he’s still got tears in his eyes.

They don’t care. A hand reaches down and cups his jaw, holding him steady as they press a soft kiss to his lips. Fueled by comfort and love rather than passion and lust, both find themselves melting into each other.

When they pull apart, Phineas remarks on how they taste like the stars. The Captain helps him to his feet with a soft chuckle and the two of them head back to the laboratory with the promise of shared knowledge between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, Comment, Share & Subscribe for more!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Didn't plan to make it longer than this, but I couldn't stop myself.

A few weeks had passed since then. Phineas was successful with the adjustments to his formula and they had a few colonists up and walking around the Hope. They’d decided not to have them stay in the lab because the Hope was more suited for multiple people to live there rather than the lab. The Captain also needed privacy after being in close quarters with their crew for so long. However, that had also required explaining to the revived members about the cannibals that’d been on the Hope. The worst of it was when they’d actually found someone who’s sister had been eaten. It was hard for them to comfort him, but they’d found a way eventually. Thankfully, the Chairman was smart enough to send over a cleaning crew that polished the Hope like brand new, making sure the quarters were ready for living.

But oh… the Captain would remember the day the first colonist had awoken till the end of the time. They’d been in the kitchen trying to create something for dinner when a scream came from the lab. They’d bolted down the hall, drawing their gun and preparing for the worst. When all they found was a scared girl, no older than seventeen when frozen, standing in front of Phineas as he backed away with his hands up, they’d breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Woah, woah, calm down,” the Captain said, putting their gun away and walking towards the girl.

“Who are you?! Where am I?!” she’d demanded, frantically looking around the lab.

“Welcome to the Halcyon colony. You’ve been asleep for seventy years. I’m Spark and this is Phineas, we’re in charge of reviving you and the rest of the colonists,” they’d calmly explained, watching as the fear on her face morphed to confusion. 

“I’m Indigo. Shouldn’t you have more staff? I was promised there’d be doctors and nurses on hand,” she questioned, allowing the Captain to help her out of the pod.

They’d gone on to explain everything after that. She’d eaten dinner with them, staying around the lab for three days until they’d revived two more colonists, an older man by the name of Doctor Smieth, a neuro-surgeon; and a nonbinary person, Avery, who was a specialist in agriculture. Indigo turned out to be a very intelligent young lady who’d been brought over to help with the financial situation. All three of them were transferred to the Hope and connected to the Chairman to explain everything they couldn’t cover. 

Afterwards, the Captain made daily trips to the Hope. They brought over new colonists, checked on progress, and then headed to other places for necessary supplies. Their job wasn’t exactly that of a scientist, but they’d always enjoyed getting their hands messy and doing supply runs. Their parents had coerced them into the science field, thanks to their incredible minds. All they’d wanted to do was explore the unknown.

* * *

The Captain docked the ship on the lab’s station. A little sign at the front of the railing read “Captain Sparky’s Docking Port”, a small detail Phineas had added a few weeks ago when they’d started making round trips to the Hope.   
Wiping their brow, they heaved a bag of fresh groceries over their shoulder and headed off the ship, giving ADA a quick goodbye. The groceries were from the Hope, fresh fruits and vegetables grown at super speeds from seeds from Earth. It put a smile on their face to have something familiar to work with, tonight, they’d make Phineas a proper meal. None of this frozen dinner bullshit. 

They’d barely crossed the entrance, taking time to drag their boots across the welcome mat, when they almost lost their grip on the groceries. 

Standing across from them, just barely out of his pod, talking to Phineas, was their best friend. His black hair was a mess, and his hibernation suit was already unzipped and tied around his waist. His heterochromatic eyes, one blue and the other brown met theirs in the split-second it took for them to set the grocery bag down on a nearby table. 

They ran across the room, watching as he opened his arms up and wrapped them up inside. Their best friend… alive, and well. They could feel the tears welling up in their eyes as their grip tightened on him and the two of them stood there. Time seemed to slow to allow them their time. 

“Ben… I never thought I’d see you again,” they whispered, pulling back from the hug just enough to look him in the eyes. 

“Sparkles, the last time I saw you you were being lifted away in a pod by a mechanical arm. What the hell happened to you?” he chuckled, back, brushing their hair behind their ear. 

“Too much man… too fucking much,” they sighed, pulling him back into a tight hug.

“You just don’t want to tell me because I’ll be forced to examine you,” he teased, poking them in the side.

“Oh fuck you! I ain’t sitting through another blasted examination!” they declared, pulling away before he could tickle them into a puddle. 

He crossed his arms over his chest and gave them a knowing look.   
“You know they’re good for you,” he started to lecture.

“If you want to examine someone, examine him!” they declared, pointing over at Phineas who’d been struggling to catch up with the two of them.

Benjamin raised his eyebrow at them, his gaze darting towards Phineas as he started to back away.   
“Don’t think Doctor Frankenstein over there will even let me get near him with anything remotely medical,” he chuckled as Phineas was halfway to the door to the bulletproof area of the lab.

The Captain facepalmed.  
“He is not Doctor Frankenstein, he’s my…” they started to explain, losing themselves in what title Phineas would prefer. Boyfriend? Maybe? It didn’t fit the tongue though, it felt like they were a teenager. Could they say, lover? Was that too formal? 

Apparently, they didn’t even need to say the word for Benjamin to catch on. His eyes shot upwards in record time as the dumbest smile crossed his face.  
“No fucking way! I leave you alone for seventy years and you’ve already found someone?” he chuckled, slapping them on their back.   
“Well, are you gonna introduce me or what?”

They rolled their eyes at his perpetual stupidity as they made their way over to Phineas. He jumped back like a startled deer as they reached out for them, forcing them to stifle a giggle. 

“Okay, this is Phineas Welles, resident Scientist and,” they took a deep breath. They’d never put a label on their dynamic, so they hoped they weren’t overstepping, “my lover.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Benjamin beamed, holding out his hand. 

“And, this is Benjamin Gabehart, the now official doctor of the Hope and my best friend for over seventy years now,” the Captain finished, watching as both of them shook hands. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Don’t examine me,” Phineas quickly said, staring Benjamin in the eyes will full seriousness. 

The Captain burst out laughing, grabbing the groceries from the table.   
“Don’t worry Phin, he’s not a threat. He’s aro and ace,” they assure him, kissing his cheek as they grab Benjamin’s wrist. They guided him to the quarters they now shared with Phineas.

“That’s not what I meant! Have your friends, just don’t come near me with a fucking stethoscope!” Phineas called after them. The Captain shook their head as the doors opened and closed to let them through. 

The Captain dropped the groceries on the kitchen counter. They started to unpack them, putting some away in the fridge and gathering the necessary items for tonight’s dinner now that they were cooking for three people. A glass of Purpleberry liquor sat on the counter next to them. 

“So he’s something,” Benjamin said, fishing a beer from the fridge and leaning against the counter as the Captain started to cook.

“He’s exciting when you get to know him,” they replied quickly, rolling up their sleeves and taking a sip from their drink.

“Does he make you happy?” Benjamin continued, shooting the Captain a knowing look. 

“The happiest I’ve been since I was seven,” they sighed, a soft smile crossing their face as the memories of their happiest days crossed their mind.

A small little kid ran across fields of green. Their hair was dark brown, down to their shoulders and they wore a pair of camo shorts and a green t-shirt with their favourite cartoon characters on it. Around them were countless adults, trees, and other kids. Their own quad was parked on the gravel path near the cook-shack. The summer sun was setting as people pulled up lawn chairs and guitars around a massive fire pit. Signing engulfed the valley as day turned to night, the little kid sitting next to a strong, bearded man, another little kid, and a woman with a kind smile. They sang their heart out, knowing every lyric to every song.

“I’m glad,” Benjamin assured them, pulling them from their thoughts. “You deserve it. But, does he understand what you need?”

They nod, chopping up vegetables to add to a sauce.   
“He does. He needs the same things as me. It’s easy,” they explain as they slid the vegetables into the sauce, watching it meld with the rich red of the tomato-based sauce. 

“Never thought I’d see the day…” Benjamin remarks next to them, ruffling their hair.

“What do you mean?” they ask, lifting an eyebrow but focusing on their work as they prepare to fry the meat. 

“You’re smiling. You haven’t stopped since I saw you again,” Benjamin explains, tipping the last of his beer into his mouth as the Captain reaches for their own.   
“Your parents would love him.” 

If the Captain could smile more, they would’ve. Instead, they settled on downing their purple berry liquor and finishing what they were cooking. The thought of Phineas meeting their parents was something unattainable, yet it held a special place in their mind. They would like him, as soon as they realized they had to treat him the same as them. If only they hadn’t been dead for at least fifty years. A small thread of hope still held onto the idea that their brother was on the Hope, but they couldn’t be sure. He could’ve been one of the ones eaten, or dead from trial runs. 

Downing their third glass of Purpleberry they shove the thoughts out of their mind.   
“You know, you should try the booze here,” they insist, reaching across Benjamin for the bread noodles to add to the boiling water.

“I’m not aiming to get drunk. I don’t need a hangover in the lover bird nest,” Benjamin jokes, on his second beer. 

“Suit yourself,” they shrug, adding the noodles to the boiling water and placing a lid over them again.

“So… you gonna tell me about your days being the infamous Captain Hawthorne?” Benjamin asks, causing them to choke on their liquor.

When they regain control over their coughing, the glare up at him.   
“How much did Phineas tell you?”

“Just enough for me to know you’re famous,” Benjamin smirks, attempting to draw the story out of them. 

Maybe if the Captain was a stronger person. Maybe if they didn’t love stroking their own ego just a small bit while telling stories about their past. Maybe if they weren’t best friends with Benjamin. Then maybe they would’ve told him to “fuck off”. However, they weren’t that strong and instead found themselves telling the entire story over far too much liquor as the pasta simmered away. 

When they finished telling the story, Benjamin was enraptured and the food was done cooking. 

“God damn, I wish I was around to see you become this,” Benjamin breathed, staring slack-jawed at them.

“What do you mean by that?” they asked.

“Sparkles, you’re happy. For the first time since I’ve met you, you’re glowing. You don’t look like the sickly twenty-something I knew from university who spread themselves too thin as they tried to take care of everyone but themself. If only I could’ve gone with you,” Benjamin explains.

They turn away, running a hand through their hair. They’d thought about it a few times, but they never really stopped and thought. Yeah, there were shitty days where all they did was drink and shoot things, but there were days where they’d solved political conflicts, conquered the galaxy and fought for the good in the world. They’d done everything they’d only thought possible in books. Including loving themself again.

“Thanks Ben. I hadn’t thought about it much. But now, you get to see the better part of this, how we bring Halcyon back from near extinction,” they chuckle, attempting to brush it off as they shove some silverware into his hands.   
“Set the table, I’m gonna get Phineas,” they instruct, shutting down the conversation before they could start crying.

Phineas was staring at a large bulletin board with papers and strings pinned to it. Two pods were defrosting on the other side of the room, already pumped full of the necessary chemicals. When they entered, he turned to them, one hand on the bulletin board and a crazy look that made them snort. He looked like an old Earth meme. 

“Phin, I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, but it’s time to eat you old goof,” they chuckle, walking up to him and brushing their hand through his crazy hair.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be there in a moment. But, I’m gonna figure this out soon. It’s on the tip of my brain!” he declared, turning back to the board.

The Captain sighed, knowing they’d never hear the end of it if they dragged him away now. Hell, they’d do the same if the roles were reversed.

“Okay, what is it? Maybe I can help,” they offer, putting their hands on his hips and resting their chin on his head.

“The correct order we need to revive people to save Halcyon,” he stated, the Captain finally noticing the faces on the board. String connected them in a sporadic line, with a small blurb next to each of them.

In defeat, they sighed, sorting through the names with him for a brief moment. It took them a combined ten minutes to sort out the names and the order. A record for both of them. 

“There, you happy now?” they asked, kissing his cheek.

“Yes,” he nodded, smiling at them. 

“Good, now come on, I made an Earth dish. My favourite Earth dish,” they said, taking his hand as the two of them walk back to their quarters.

“Did I earn a drink?” he asks with a coy smile, leaning onto the Captain’s shoulder.

“Phin, you can have anything you’d like,” they whisper, pressing a kiss to his lips before entering the quarters.  
“Alright! Let’s eat!” they declare, finding Benjamin stirring the dinner so that it didn’t burn or get cold. 

“Took you long enough,” he remarked, shaking his head with a knowing smile on his lips.

“Eh, Doctor Frankenstein couldn’t figure out who to reanimate next,” they joked, dishing up a plate for everyone. 

“Please tell me I’m getting some sort of staff soon. If we need to solve any crisis, we’re going to need people who can help with overworked and underfed employees,” Benjamin groans, as the Captain sits down at the table with the two of them. 

They roll their eyes as dinner falls into light conversation. The look on Phineas’s face when he takes his first bite is a reward in itself. If they were alone, the Captain would’ve jumped him before even bothering to finish their dinner. Phineas still gave Benjamin weary looks, mostly out of lack of social interaction, but he didn’t say anything negative or rude, so the Captain took it as a win. 

When dinner was done and the lab was cleaned up for the night, the Captain offered Benjamin a space on their ship for the night, with a promise to take him to the Hope in the morning. He’d gladly agreed, thankful for a decent bed. The moment he was settled and they’d returned to their quarters, Phineas was pinned against the door. 

That night was a damn fine night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW; mentions of suicide
> 
> the final chapter!

As requested, Benjamin did get his own team of staff. Eventually. They were amongst the next one-hundred people to be revived. Since Phineas’s calculations and formulas were more precise now, with losing only one out of twenty colonists - and those stats were already decreasing to one out of thirty - the work had become more efficient. The Captain was now swamped with taking people to and from the Hope, making two trips now. They barely saw Phineas during the day and had to drag him away to sleep at night. It was becoming exhausting and slowly they found their nerves wearing down. 

One particular day, they were hiding from Benjamin and Phineas on Monarch. Trying to renew their patience by shooting Raptidons and Mantiqueens with Nyoka. As well as downing most of their not-so-secret stash.

“I still don’t see your problem,” Nyoka said as she gathered a few of the carcasses to sell back in Stellar Bay.

“It’s just… exhausting. I thought I’d have more time with Phineas, but we’re swamped,” the Captain sighed heavily, running their hand through their hair despite the blood coating it. They needed a fucking shower anyways.

“But you’re immortal, you’ll have your time with him,” Nyoka reasons, straightening up and looking at the sky above as she undid her flask.

“Only if I’m not dead by then,” the Captain points out, putting finger guns to their head for dramatic effect.

Nyoka turns around mid drink and slaps the Captain upside the head.  
“You’re smarter than that. Don’t fucking joke about it,” she growled, swallowing her booze and wiping her lips.

“Sorry… sorry. But that’s my point, either of us could be killed by the time we actually finish the colonists. Hell, he could get annoyed with me and call the whole thing off when we’re done,” the Captain mumbles, rubbing the side of their head.

“Do you really think that?” Nyoka asks, cocking an eyebrow at them as she takes another swig.

“No? Yes? I don’t know… it’s happened before,” the Captain admits, staring down at their bloodsoaked boots.

“You wanna talk about it?” Nyoka presses as they pick up a few carcasses to take back to Stellar bay and begin walking. 

“Not really,” they huff as she catches up to them, carrying a few more carcasses than them. 

“Drink?” she offers.

“Thanks,” they mumble, nearly chugging the whole thing.

Their mind wanders in the silence of their trek back. It pulls out dark places that they’d wanted to keep hidden for the rest of their life, memories that should never see light. Of a man, tall and built, with jet-black hair and wild eyes. Of days spent talking over calls and staring at grainy video calls. It had been perfect… they’d almost had him in their arms. Then he slipped away and they joined the Hope to find peace. Killed himself, the words falling from a doctors lips like spilt wine, all they could recall from the memory. 

They said their goodbye to Nyoka and departed from Monarch, drowning the memories in booze as the ship headed back to the lab. He’d been stable, he’d never mentioned anything during the relationship. He’d said he was the happiest he’d been in years, so they didn’t press it. They should’ve. The regret will haunt them for the rest of time. They were scared. Scared of losing Phineas in the same way.

When the ship docked, they managed to trudge their drunken mind through the lab to the normal area they’d find Phineas in. He was wiping his hands, standing back to admire a day’s work well done. 

Despite being covered in blood, the Captain wrapped their arms around his waist from behind, resting their chin in his wild hair. 

“Oh! Sparky! You’re back? I thought you’d be gone until tomorrow,” Phineas startles, tilting his head back a little to look up at the Captain.

“Finished early,” they mumble, now resting their head in the crook of his neck.

“Something wrong?” he asks, hands resting over theirs as they pull him tighter.

“‘M fine,” they mutter, not bothering to budge from their spot behind him despite his scrubs and labcoat rubbing against the dried and almost dried blood on their armour. 

Phineas sighs, turning around and cupping their jaw as they move to rest their head back in his neck.  
“You’re not acting right, my dear. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he observes, kissing their lips for a quick moment before pulling away entirely.

The Captain grabs his hand before he can get to far ahead of them. Their grip is tight, almost as if they let go he’d disappear. He doesn’t mind, simply lacing his fingers with theirs and leading them through the mess of the lab, pointing out objects to be avoided on the way. 

He helps the Captain out of their armour, stripping his scrubs off as well. They sit on the edge of the tub-shower combo as Phineas holds the shower head over their hair, soaking it thoroughly. 

He’s humming something, they can’t quite pin-point the song until he hits the verse. It’s an old song, the first one they played for him to be exact. They’d written it while the ship was docked on the Groundbreaker after they’d visited him for the fifth time. His lab had become a regular trip for them, a stop between mission points. They’d written the song about him.

As the shampoo washed off their hair, they started to hum as well. It never took much to drag the Captain from their dips - their words -. As long as Phineas was nearby, they couldn’t stay upset for too long. 

When the shower was done, the water was running clear instead of red. A good sign that all the blood was gone. Dinner was quick too, they just reheated leftovers. Neither protested as they ate on the newly expanded bed. It was easy to fall into light conversation about their days, totally enraptured in each other’s talking and long tangents. 

Phineas had gotten up to take the dishes to the counter when the Captain sighed. They had to tell him, fear was never good to hide. When he sat back down on the bed, they leaned against the wall, putting a small distance between them. 

“Phineas… can I tell you something?” they ask softly, not really meeting his gaze.

“Sure?” he replied, leaning on his elbow and tilting his head at them. 

“I used to date someone on Earth. He was the first person I ever felt truly in love with… and also the reason I joined the Hope colonists,” they admit, still bowing their head.

Phineas swallowed, making an ‘O’ shape with his lips.   
“...is he… Is he on the Hope?” he asks quietly, biting his lower lip.

The Captain let out an unexpected chuckle, it was insincere, but still bubbled out. They always had a darker sense of humour.   
“Nah, he’s dead.”

Phineas’s hand reached out, resting on their forearm.   
“I’m thankful for you trusting me with this. But, why are you telling me this?”

“He… killed himself,” they whisper, tears forming in the corners of their eyes. That was the first time they’d ever admitted it out loud. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

Phineas sits up, pulling the Captain into a tight hug. His hand brushes through their hair as they quietly cry. It’s not a violent sob, not mourning for a past lover, just the leftover fear and regret bubbling out. He’s patient. They need patient. 

“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere,” he comforts them, laying the two of them back in bed so they can curl up properly.

They lay there quietly, waiting for him to fall asleep. When his breathing evens out, they whisper a reply;  
“Neither am I.”

* * *

Two years later, the Captain found themself sitting on the top of the Unreliable. They had a glass of Purpleberry wine in one hand and Phineas’s in the other. They were telling jokes and poking fun at each other as they watched the stars through the open bay of the lab. 

That day, the last colonist had woken up. The particular colonist was now asleep soundly on the Hope. Both of them were free to do whatever they wished. So, Phineas had cracked open some old-ass bottle of wine that was tucked away in their quarters and they went to town.

Small snacks sat next to them, both of their favourite Earth dishes. Pizza rolls and chicken wings. They’d gotten them from the Hope’s freezers and saved them until that day, thankfully they were frozen and didn’t go bad.

Unfortunatley, their brother hadn’t been on the Hope. Well, he had, but he’d been amongst those who’d suffered explosive cell death. Even Benjamin couldn’t save him and the concoction of chemicals didn’t help either. It hurt for the first couple weeks, but they were never close with him, most of their memories were in their teenage years when he was angry and spiteful of the world. He never really changed. 

They’d seen their old crew in the past two years. Not much had changed for them, however, there were a few exciting moments. Max and Felix visited the Lab one day, showing off matching rings to anyone who’d look their way. It was adorable and it made the Captain happy. On a trip to visit Parvati and Junlei and gather more supplies, they found out they were also engaged. A month later, Max married both of them, and then a month after that he married Felix in Byzantium. The Captain had been present for both weddings, dragging Phineas along despite his protests.

With all the talk of marriage and weddings, the Captain visited Ellie and Nyoka more, dragging them to bars or finding excuses to go hunting. They were truly happy for their crew, however, deep-rooted jealousy featured like an infected wound in their heart. They wanted desperately to marry Phineas, it wasn’t their fault they were too chicken-shit to propose. Besides, the only ones who knew they wanted to get married were everyone but Phineas. They needed to learn to keep their mouth shut. 

Besides getting hitched, their crew members had made a pretty good path for themselves in life. Max was touching the souls of many different colonists, Ellie was doing fairly well in running legal (and illegal) supply runs and earning a reputation, Parvati was training new engineers with Junlei, Felix… well, he was good at keeping track of Max’s supplies and taking care of business when needed, and Nyoka had quiet the reputation on Monarch. 

It made them happy.

A soft sigh left their lips as they stared out into the vast expanse of space. It was a happy, content sigh as they felt Phineas lean against their shoulder to shuffle something out of his pocket. They paid no mind to him, assuming he needed a tissue or had a piece of candy. 

They were part-way through a sip of their wine when he coughed. They turned their head curiously and nearly choked on their wine. 

Phineas was down on one knee - er, well, the best he could without slipping off the side of the ship - and holding a tiny red box in his hand.

“I know we’re immortal, so this is just a frivolous romantic gesture. You’ve helped me through my hardest work, fetching and running errands when I find it uncomfortable to do so, especially when there was a bounty over my head. You’ve watched my back and made sure I took care of myself, and I haven’t passed out from exhaustion since that one day you spent with Ellie doing a supply run. Would you perhaps, like to marry me? I’d very much love to spend the rest of my days doing whatever we can cook up, together,” he asked, nervously fidgeting with the box to open it.

It was a small, black band with tiny blood-red diamonds. Simple and wouldn’t catch on clothing. The exact type of ring they remembered describing to Benjamin a few months ago. 

A smile spread across their face, genuine and broad, as they reached forwards and cupped Phineas’s jaw. They pressed a soft kiss to his lips before pulling away.

“Yes, of course,” they whispered softly.

Phineas burst out in nervous laughter as they took the ring, the Captain gave them a skeptical look.  
“Sorry… sorry… I was just nervous,” he promises, taking the Captain’s hand to steady himself.

“More wine?” they brush off the laughter with a shake of their head and a smile, reaching for the bottle of Purpleberry wine. 

“I thought you’d never ask my dear,” he sighs, holding out an empty glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I went with the cheesy ending. So sue me.

**Author's Note:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0PEEiPC5kuEXW39qIFi4Ac


End file.
